Turning 20 comes with this sense of change and urgency as we are no longer in our teens, and are one step closer to being adults. We feel this sense of liminality, a crossing of a threshold, or a passage into something new. In just a short 20 years a lot of mistakes and memories are made. Here are the 20 most important things I've learned in my short time on this planet.
1. Radiate confidence, even if you're faking it.
One day, you won't be faking it anymore. And you will be untouchable.
2. You need to be your own before you can be someones.
This is so important. A lot of us are so focused, especially in our 20s, on when we will find "the one" who we will settle down with. We put so much gravity in being "someones"; but we hardly focus on being our "own."
3. Ambition is not a dirty word.
We can thank the wonderful Reece Witherspoon for this beauty. You want something? Go for it, work for it, and do not stop until you attain it. Do not let anyone put you down for hustling toward your dreams.
4. Don't make a habit of choosing what feels good over what is actually good.
No matter how cute that boy is, or how great it feels to sleep in and skip class... be smart. Some choices may feel great in that moment, but don't make them habits. After all, habits are hard to break.
5. Someone is going to break your heart.
This is a tragic truth of life. You will get your heart broken, at least once. It might be broken by that boy you swore you would marry one day, or by the friend you thought would never leave your side. No matter who it is, it is going to hurt like hell. But don't worry, you will come out the other side.
6. Your grades do not define you.
During school, so much focus is on our GPA. When in reality, no one cares what your GPA was. What is important is your ability to perform, and do your job. B's and C's will not kill you. And a lower GPA does not mean you are not smart. Grades do not determine intelligence.
7. Never turn down a night out with the girls.
Never. Ever. These are going to be the nights you think about 10 years down the road. And even 10 years from now, you will cry from laughter about the memories made.
8. Making mistakes is okay.
In fact, you need to make mistakes in order to grow.
9. Our parents were right.
I think everyone can attest to this feeling. Yet, defying your parents for the sake of doing it, is part of growing up. But one day, you will start to realize that they have been right all alone.
10. Don't lose your faith.
Keeping your faith, no matter what it is, is so difficult at this age. However, do everything you can to hold onto it. These are some of the most pinnacle moments in your life, you're going to need your faith in the bad times, and in the great times.
11. The right thing, is often the hardest thing.
I always heard this saying growing up. But the older I get, the more it reigns true in my life. No matter how much you love something or someone; if it is not healthy for you anymore...leave. It may be the hardest thing you have ever done, but it is the right thing to do.
12. Always say sorry.
Yes, you may be a little too late. And when you say it, the other person may say the words don't mean anything. Say it anyway. Always say it.
13. Stop setting yourself on fire for someone who will sit there and watch you burn.
Stop sacrificing yourself and your happiness for someone who wouldn't do the same.
14.Spend time alone.
Learning to spend time on your own is pivotal. Stay in alone and binge watch Netflix all night, go treat yourself to coffee, go to a movie alone. It is in these moments we unwind and learn a lot about ourselves.
15. Save your money.
I may only be 20, but I already wish I had made better spending and saving choices earlier in my life. Save early, and save often. When you graduate college with $35,000 in debt, you will thank yourself.
16. Life is hard, but amazing.
Life's little ups and downs make everything worth while. You find out who you are through the pain. Cry through the hard times, and smile and love loudly in the great times.
17. Changing your major is okay.
Do it. Don't worry that you may be in school for an extra semester or even an extra year. If you aren't happy with the career path you have chosen, now is the time to do it.
18. Dance. A lot.
Even if you dance like mom (like me) till dance. Not to be cliche, but dance like no one is watching. It's therapeutic, its fun, and a great way to get in your steps for the day.
19. When in doubt... coffee or wine.
I have yet to experience a situation where coffee or wine didn't help.
20. Keep your friends close.
One day, you will look around you and realize you have found your people. This group of people has changed your life, and will continue to do so. Never let these people go.
