Iced coffee is really all I need in life. Okay, that's a lie, but if it's not on the top of your list of "one true loves," then you're definitely lying. All it takes is a medium iced caramel mocha with almond milk to get me going. Let all the coffee lovers rejoice!
1. You're willing to wake up early to see them.
It may take setting five alarms with the word, "COFFEEEEEE" in all caps and a dozen coffee emoji's, but it's worth it.
2. You know the dangers of drinking it hot, juggling it with fifty other things, and having it spill and burn a hole in your heart.
We've all been there. Let's save ourselves the trouble and not sue McDonald's or Starbucks.
3. You're probably sitting in the drive thru right now instead of by the coffeemaker in your significant other's kitchen.
I'd prefer to sit in my car. Alone. I've given the saying, "Good things come to those who wait," a whole new meaning.
4. You remember the exact dates Dunkin's happy hour starts and ends but you couldn't get your ex to remember your birthday.
So is happy hour, but I'm sure he couldn't even remember that.
5. You've posted a million iced coffee pictures on your Instagram feed to make up for the ex-boyfriend photos you deleted.
And that is how we flirt, ladies and gentlemen.
6. ...And Snapchats, too.
I mean, until your iced coffee betrays you, that is...
7. You're willing to pay $5 just so you can get your quick fix.
Too bad it takes an eternity to actually get your coffee, but I'd rather not complain.
8. You don't have to worry about where they are all the time because you can usually find them on every street corner.
No more countless texts, all you need is the notification that your mobile order is ready.
9. You've coined the term, "The colder the better," in reference to your cold heart.
More ice, please.
10. You're not afraid to try exotic things anymore, bring on the almond and coconut milk!
It was about time we ditched the same-old-same-old. Apparently, they're better for you, anyway.
11. You get even more excited about getting a free drink on your Starbucks Gold Member anniversary because at least the damn app remembered it was your freaking anniversary.
I guess you could say that coffee isn't as forgetful.
12. You drink twice as much iced coffee than you probably should to make up for all those coffee dates where they were "too busy" to meet you.
Yeah, I drink coffee like it's water, no big deal.
13. You're closer to your barista than you ever were to them.
I'm forever thankful for cute guys that work at coffee shops.
14. Your cold brew smells better than they did most of the time.
Even after you bought them that expensive cologne.
15. You dream of the day your future bf will show up to your work with your iced vanilla coffee.
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Please watch this. That is all.
16. You believe in taking everything in full doses (aka larger coffees), whereas your ex claimed he could only take you in small doses.
Am I talking too much? Oh sorry, it's the coffee. At least I think it is, but it probably has no effect on me anymore. I should stop talking.
17. You get more attention from your Instagram followers who ask what your iced coffee order is every time you post it on your story.
I dunno if I can remember all of that.
18. You don't settle for mediocre sugar-filled nonsense.
Black coffee ain't that bad, especially when it matches your soul.
19. You like your men like you like your coffee: smooth and strong.
Sorry, just had to include this one.
20. That's right, none of that five extra pumps of caramel bullshit that screams, "Come over tonight." Bring on the damn espresso.
If you order something with that much extra sugar, then we all know what you really want...and it ain't coffee, if you know what I mean.
