On Friday, January 27, I turned 19 years old. It was a weird birthday because nothing felt different from being 18 but, at the same time, so much has changed in the last year that I'm hardly the same person I was 12 months ago. Everything I've learned in the last year added to my previous 18 years of life experience and will only continue to grow from now on. So, here you have it. Here's the official list of the 19 most important things I've learned in the first 19 years of my life:
1. People are going to criticize you no matter what you do, so you might as well do what's going to make you happy
I've wasted a lot of time trying to please other people in my life and not once has every single person ended up happy with my decision. It took me a long time to understand that, regardless of what anyone else thinks of me, I'm the one that has to live with myself for the rest of my life and mine is the only opinion about my life that ultimately matters.
2. If you really want something, you need to work for it
Nothing is going to be handed to you and the world doesn't owe you anything so if you want something you'd better get to work.
3. It's important to have people in your corner
I've always been an independent person and, at one point, I convinced myself I would be fine without a support system. Don't do that. It's so important to have people you know you can rely on.
4. You can't help anyone if you don't take care of yourself first
I can't say no and, because of that, I end up overcommitting to other people and neglecting myself, which turns into a big, complicated mess when it eventually self-destructs.
5. You're only young once
If you want to live in a big city or backpack across Europe or get a tattoo, do it. You're only young once and you shouldn't let anything stand in the way of achieving your dream.
6. Set realistic expectations
My Spanish teacher was appalled when I walked into the first day of a 10-week class and announced that I wanted to be able to hold a conversation with a native speaker without making mistakes. It takes baby steps to be able to reach a lofty goal.
7. Be spontaneous sometimes
One Sunday afternoon I decided I wanted to go to the beach so my suitemate and I packed up the car and we went. Planning stuff can be fun but sometimes it's nice to just go with the flow.
Source: me
8. Stand up for yourself
If something makes you uncomfortable, say something. Set boundaries for yourself and demand that people respect them.
9. Celebrate the little things
Tiny successes, like remembering to take the laundry out before someone else needs the machine, make me incredibly happy and deserve to be recognized at least a little bit.
10. Don't be afraid to fail
I've been so obsessed with being successful that I didn't leave myself any room to fail and then when I inevitably did, I had no idea how to handle it.
11. Stop apologizing so much
Let's clarify something: it's a good thing to apologize when you've done something that bothered someone else but it's not necessary to apologize for existing or for making tiny, harmless mistakes.
12. Get involved in the things that are important to you
Every time I talk about my regrets, I wish I'd gotten involved in more activities. I'm not letting this next year be like that. Everything I'm passionate about and I want to participate in, I'm going to.
13. There's no such thing as "normal"
We get so caught up in how other people see us that we forget that expectations are socially constructed and that there's really no "normal" characteristics or behaviors.
14. Trust your gut
Keep an eye out for red flags. If something feels wrong, it is.
15. Spend time and money doing things you love
I've decided recently that if I want to travel or go to concerts, that's worth it to me regardless of how much it costs.
16. Try to enjoy the current moment
We often get so caught up in looking forward or looking back that we forget to be in the now. I think it's incredibly important to learn how to cherish the moment we're in, rather than waiting impatiently for it to be over.
17. Take lots of pictures
On the off chance you forget to be present in a moment, it's really cool to have picture memories to refer back to.
18. People change, memories don't
I've had a lot of friends come and go in the last 19 years and, even though we don't talk anymore, I truly cherish all the memories we had together and I wish them nothing but the best in their lives.
19. If it's not making you happy or successful, it's a waste of your time
I spend way too much time doing things that aren't beneficial and are actually causing me more harm than good. I've discovered that it's time to let those things go and that, if something is really good for me, that's what I'm going to spend my time on.
