That's what went through my mind when I read the pregnancy test. It didn't feel real, and sometimes it still doesn't. But the sad thing is I was more worried about what others would think about me than I was about raising a baby. I was worried people would say that "I'm too young" or that "its a shame I got pregnant so young because I had so much to look forward to in life". I was very insecure about my age. Got pregnant at 19, and going to become a new mom at 20. On top of that I was flooded with a list of questions I felt obligated to answer like, "How old are you? Did you ever think about abortion? Did you consider adoption? Are you worried about your career? How will you finish school with a baby? Did you plan this? Is the dad helping?"

I was doubting my abilities to become a good mom based on my age. But what I have learned to understand that we don't become wise and mature through age; we mature through experience, life experiences. Deep emotional experiences, painful, scary, heart-breaking experiences, experiences that test who we are as a person, and well motherhood? Well, that's one hell of an experience. So now it cracks me up when I hear girls my age talk about how they could never be a mom this young. I just think maybe you would have surprised yourself and maybe you would have figured all your stuff out because you are going to a small person looking up to you as an example. When it comes down to it no one is ever "ready" to become a parent. You just figure it out. And isn't that what we are all doing in life? Just figuring our crap out.

So when it comes down to it, others thinking I am not ready to raise a child has only made me realize what I am capable of. At 16 weeks pregnant, I have already done nothing but put my daughter before myself. I've become selfless when it comes to her, and the only thing this child has made me do so far is to grow up. After seeing those words "pregnant" pop up on that pregnancy test, I knew everything in my life was about to change. It just took me a little while to realize that it's changing for the better.