The 19 Phases of Dating | The Odyssey Online
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The 19 Phases of Dating

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The 19 Phases of Dating

Playing the dating game in college is an emotional roller coaster. Are we Snapchat best friends and nothing more? Are we talking? Do I even dare ask what we are? Regardless of the situation, there are certain stages every person is bound to endure while seeing different people in college.

1. Excitement.

2. Things are going well. That is, until he asks you to make him dinner …

3. Needless to say, things don't go over too well. He needs a good Italian meal like his mommy makes him, so some self-reassurance is in order.

4. You realize that the best way to get back in the game is some good social media updating.

5. Once your Tinder profile is up and running, things take off. They're going well until you match with someone that says, “Did it hurt … when you fell from heaven?"

6. Whatever. On to the next. OK, yes — someone normal! You're excited, and then, before you know it, he's sliding into your DMs. You start chatting, but when your friends ask you about your dating life, you're forced to say:

7. And they respond:

8. Fine, fine, fine. Back to real life. After a series of failures, you find yourself making excuse after excuse. At first they're ridiculous, but then you realize you're falling further and further into depression.

9. What's the worst part about this whole thing? Somehow, you've managed to snag a Stage Five Clinger. Oh, s***. He comes to you straight up with that innocent face, and says:

10. What do you do? Well, you tell him exactly what you want right now:

11. He's not understanding … "But why? Why don't you want to date me?"

12. He gets really upset, and you're just sitting there thinking…

13. Then, right when you were about to give up, you meet someone who is NORMAL! Unfortunately, he knows your games, and plays them. You're sitting in your room, checking your phone constantly, waiting for the text, wondering if he likes you, like …

14. You decide to throw out a sub-tweet. See if he bites.

15. It works! Before you know it, things are going strong and you guys are probably a little too comfortable with each other. He starts digging through your drawers, until he gives you that wide-eyed look and you quickly recover with:

16. Then, the crazy comes out. You can't help it. Why is he liking that girl's pictures? Who is he texting? You just want to hold his phone in your hand! He questions this completely abnormal behavior that you somehow think in your head is normal, and you give him that look and say:

17. Things are going downhill quickly. He realizes he needs to get out, and FAST, and before you know it, you're screaming more irrational things as he's walking out the door:


18. Once you sit down and think about things, you realize it wasn't your insane behavior at all. No way, that couldn't be.

19. Then, you realize that being single is better anyway! Plus,

Congratulations, you made it through the vicious cycle of the dating game.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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