18 Things Every Pitt Student Wants This Year

18 Things Every Pitt Student Wants This Year

What is all of our tuition money going toward anyway?

As the fall semester approaches, Pitt students happily await the moment that they can look up at Cathy in all her glory. With only a few weeks to go, we are reminded of the good, the bad, and the ugly that campus has to offer. To make this the best year possible, I've created a wish list that all Pitt students are hoping the year will bring. Cathy, please grant our wishes.

1. A win against Penn State.

We've all been biting our nails waiting for September 10th, 2016. Don't let us down, Pitt Panthers.

2. Working soft serve at Market.

I'm pretty sure the Market workers take away soft serve just to spite us. I mean, it's basically the only thing in there worth swiping for.

3. Less expensive textbooks.

I can't wait to sell this $200 book back to the University Store for $.20. :-)

4. A shorter walk/ride to upper campus.

I didn't ask for this.

5. A table at Hillman during finals week...

It's easy to forget how many students go to Pitt, until midterms/finals arrive and all 34,000 students are packed into one library.

6. Or at least an outlet..

If you're lucky enough to find a spot and your computer dies, good luck. There are about ten charging spots in all of Hillman and Cathy combined. Help us out.

7. No more group projects...

Those awkward meetings on the first floor of Cathy with 4 strangers from lecture can only lead to disappointment.

8. Larger closets.

Whether you're in a dorm or an apartment, you know there is no such thing as a "big enough" closet. Where are we supposed to keep all of the free t-shirts?

9. Better Fall Fest and Bigelow Bash concerts.

We pay a lot to go here. Can't we at least get Beyonce or something?

10. A table at Market Thanksgiving.

Look, I'll sit on the floor if I have to. Please don't let it come to that, though.

11. Lower tuition.

There's no need to elaborate on this one.

12. Less work, more play.

Ya know... what is South O for? Not homework.

13. Daily therapy dogs.

College seriously deprives us of dog time, and one day a week is not enough. <3

14. Restaurant dining dollar acceptance.

Imagine if you could use dining dollars at Pamela's, Chipotle, or Panera. I would never complain about Market again. EVER.

15. Better weather in Pittsburgh.

Snow, rain, and clouds constantly make up Pittsburgh's forecast. I'm ready for some sunshine

16. Finished construction on Cathy elevators.

These things are like little metal death traps, and the stairs are just not an option. Come on, Pitt!

17. Cancelled classes...

I know this one will never happen, but it's nice to wish for it, right?

18. A longer winter break.

2 weeks is about half of the normal winter break period. With all of our hard work, can't we at least get a break?

So, we embark on a new year full of highs and lows. If some of these wishes came true, this would be a year of only highs. So please, Pitt, treat us all to a year of better food, less exercise, and more fun. Thanks. #H2P

Cover Image Credit: Sarah Fling

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.

The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:

“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:


When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:

"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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To Those Who Feel The Need To Tear Down Others, Take A Seat

You have no right to hurt others because you don’t agree with them.


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