The 18th year is one of the biggest. We “figure” out our future, graduate from high school, spend our last summer with all of our high school friends, and then we transition into college or the workforce. It’s a time of growth, but with growth comes growing pains. After leaving the high school bubble, life gets real. No more locker combinations keeping our possessions safe. No more detentions when we misbehave. Things can go horribly wrong and amazingly well, and from either scenario we cannot let the opportunity to learn fly over our heads. We must take these times and internalize the lessons to keep us moving forward.

Before this year, I just didn’t understand how people live certain lives, but now I do. Everyone has choices, and we have to be apt to make them. Some people are not ready, and life gets to be too much. Then, instead of rising to overcome, they give up. Not everything happens as we want it to, and if it does for you, then you’re very very fortunate, but for the rest of us, this isn't how life works.

Reality takes no prisoners, and the most amazing thing is that we have the ability to evolve and make the most of the cards we are dealt. In my 18th year, I have been lucky to have been both emotionally destroyed (obviously not this part, but the growing part) and also extremely grateful all within months of each other. Tears will flow but the laughs will return, and it’s a beautiful aspect of life to be able to bounce back from what seemed like the lowest point. Here are some of the most impactful lessons I have learned this past year.

1. Becoming legal doesn’t mean that you’re not still a child

Waking up on your 18th birthday doesn’t make you magically wise. I still love Lucky Charms and text my mom where I’m going (but not by choice). It doesn’t change that much in the first year. Wisdom takes time to move in and make itself at home.

2. Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to forget

Sometimes harvesting animosity is more harmful than forgiveness. You’ll never forget, but you can learn to cope and move forward.

3. Trust is hard to gain and easy to break

Be careful with your secrets.

4. Don’t give your heart away if you know it’s going to be broken

It’s just not worth it, but you’ll learn to deal with the scars.

5. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me

Second chances are ok, just not foolish ones. I heard this line many times, but did not listen, which leads me to my next one…

6. There’s a difference between listening and internalizing

If you aren’t truly taking in the words, they become meaningless even if they were intended to be meaningful.

7. Crying does not make you weak

No, it shows you feel, and that’s a beautiful part of being human.

8. Your body is yours, you must love it, not hate it

We can diet and exercise, but we will always live in our own skin. We can only be good to ourselves and exude confidence as we are so much more than what we appear on the outside.

9. Beauty is so much more than appearance

It is strength. It is confidence. It is joy. It is all the parts of ourselves that make us shine.

10. Never deviate from your morals and beliefs

This is your core. Don’t ever change for anyone.

11. If you live for the future, you forget to enjoy the present

There’s so much happening right now that will not be in the idealized future. Why are we missing it by working so hard? Life flashes before our eyes, and then our present becomes our future... and then we will repeat living for the future, so when do we truly live?

12. It is easy to just go through the motions and forget to live

Overscheduled and over worked, we live for checkpoints. When I’m running to class, I sometimes call my mom and tell her I’m just running from Point A to Point B with no thoughts in my head; I feel like I’m forgetting to live. It’s easy to call ourselves out, but hard to fix it.

13. Life is a marathon, not a sprint

Burn-out is real. It’s only nature to slow down at some point, so I’d rather gradually slow down than crash and burn wouldn’t you? Easier said than done.

14. Being alone doesn’t make you lonely

Sitting with a book, going for a run, watching TV, eating by yourself… sometimes being alone is important to recharge our batteries; it’s not a bad thing.

15. Be kind to everyone; you never know with whom you’re speaking

They could be jovial and nice or rude and miserable, but it’s not our job to judge. Plus, we might see them again in the most unexpected but important places one day.

16. Rejection hurts, but it’s how you deal with it that matters

Learn, do not dwell for too long.

17. It’s hard to get from who we are to whom we want to be

It takes courage and strength to grow. It’s not easy, but it’ll be worth it when we reach the destination.

18. Don’t take life so seriously

People don’t remember our mistakes. There are 7.4 billion people on this earth living their own lives. It’s ok to laugh when you fall down the stairs because it’s only one part of their day that they’ll most likely forget.

Lessons will always be ready for us to learn, but they may be in the most unexpected places. Sometimes the worst situations end up having the most impactful influence on our lives. Life is funny like that.