My big fat Irish family is pretty amazing. We’re the Murphy’s. There are, like, 55 of us (I think.) The number is always growing because someone is always pregnant or getting married. My Grandpa Dick is the oldest. He’s 87. One of my cousins is pregnant, making their unborn child the youngest Murphy.
Here are 17 things anyone with a big fat Irish family, or any huge family, knows to be true:
1. There is always someone to talk to.
There are so many people so that you can always find someone.
2. Someone is always ready to give awesome advice.
It usually ends up being pretty good advice.
3. If you’re really lucky some time at Christmas or a wedding one of your cousins or your cool aunt will look over their shoulders, make sure that your mom isn't watching, and hand you their drink.
“Don’t tell your mom I let you do this.”
4. You’re really good with babies.
There are so many meaning all of those years of baby sitting have finally paid off.
5. Your status as either a "Big Kid" or "Little Kid" will determine a lot, like place settings at dinner.
You can be thirty and still be at the Little Kids' table.
6. Significant others are usually a bit overwhelmed when they come to their first family gathering.
"Who was that? Who's sister is she? Who's her mom?" are some of the common questions after meeting a relative.
7. You might get “shushed” as restaurants for having too much fun because others think that you are "too loud."
True story. This happened at Girls Weekend circa 2006.
8. There are some family traditions that are basically an unwritten law.
Labor and Memorial Day at Uncle Pat and Aunt Gerry’s house on the water and the boys always tee off into the lake.
9. St. Patrick’s Day is legendary in a big fat Irish family.
Bust out your green. Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day.
10. We’ve always got each others’ backs.
Lowkey, don’t mess with us. Our grandpa was a boxer and we all picked a bit up, most of the boys have guns, and the girls can and will find you.
11. There is always enough food to feed a small army aka your family.
Buying food and drinks can get expensive when you have to buy for so many people.
12. Sometimes, you have to fight off the competition for your favorite foods or desserts.
Grandma hides her famous Scotcheroos from us so that we don’t eat them before dinner.
13. Your family calls you a specific version of your actual name.
Lukie, Colleenie, Timmy, Lynnie, Jane-y, Danny, the Little Girls
14. You all slay karaoke.
“Sweet Caroline” is our specialty.
15. There are always some sort of shenanigans happening.
"Grandma, I swear this time it wasn't me."
16. You all look alike (and sometimes dress alike.)
It's very confusing for people.
17. You all love each other and tolerate each other’s craziness.
The Murphy’s love each other and I wouldn’t change anything about us.
