Instagram: the app you use if you want to see how ahhh-mazing people’s lives are. Whether they are people you know, sort of know, or don’t know at all-- you follow them for the content of their posts. Here are the 16 types of Instagram-ers:
1. The “Look How Good Looking I Am” Girl
We get it. God #blessed you with some awesome genes. This girl has thousands of followers and follows about 1/10th of that back. She gets 20+ comments on each photo from each of her “closest” friends about how gorgeous/tan/skinny/”perf” she is. She only posts photos of herself-- typically not selfies-- or pictures with her best looking friends. Sucks to be the friend that doesn’t make the cut, doesn’t it?
2. The “Relationship Goals” Couple
TJ and Lauren Oshie, Tammy Hembrow and Reece Hawkins, Kylie Jenner and Tyga are some to name a few famous couples. However, you may know someone that is in an obnoxiously adorable relationship and you hate them for posting it all over social media because you are more than likely bitter and jealous. In my opinion, the world does not need to know everything about your relationship and if you break up, the world is going to be just as heartbroken as you. You are adorable and you are making people jealous. We do not need to be reminded 17 times a day how “in love” you are. Keep that private.
3. The “Look At How In Shape I Am” Gym Rat
Some people make separate Instagram accounts for their fitness journey (I’m guilty of this) and some people post their progress on their main account. It’s awesome that you do what no one else in the world does by working out and eating healthy. Good for you. We don’t need nor want to see you flexing your muscles every day of the week. We understand that you’re super in shape, we can tell by looking at you normally. Your journey is fabulous and all, but if you could refrain yourself from posting tool pics every other day, that would be great. Save it for the milestones you reach.
4. The “I Love My Sorority” Srat Star
Do you really have the best Big and Little in all of Greek Town? Are you really going to be a “grandma” soon? Do you actually love all 300 of your amazing sisters? Did you post the link to your bid day video in your bio? If you answered “yes” to two or more of those questions, this is probably the type of Instagram-er you are. I’m so happy that you found your home-away-from-home and all, but I couldn’t care less about your new car sticker or room decorations or how your Big is just soooo great. We understood how much you loved your sorority the first time you posted about it, but thanks for clarifying your undying love each week.
5. The “Self-Proclaimed Model” Chick
We all know this girl that uses excellent lighting and occasionally uses a fan for that windblown look. Sometimes she also knows someone that has a Nikon and will take photos of her. This girl will often credit her fantastic “photographer”, who may be starting a small business (see number six), and claim that she loves being a “model”. If you are a photographer in need of a model, this is your go-to girl. She clearly has a ton of professional experience.
6.The “I’m Starting A Photography Company” High School/College Student
This young adult is trying to pursue their passion. They may get hired for high school events, senior pictures, or family events that their own family is hosting. Honestly it is wonderful that you know how to use a good camera and that you have some photo-editing apps on your computer, but please stop posting every day about how “slots” are going to “fill up” quickly for one of your new gigs. We all know you’re desperate for people to come to you for anything photography related.
7. The “I Only Post Artsy Pictures Because I’m Artsy” Hipster
Lowkey I enjoy these pictures and believe the artists should take their talents to South Beach. 10/10 keep doing this but also check out VSCO. Could you maybe take some artsy pictures of me, too? I am really trying to build my model portfolio.
8. The “Check Out Every Meal I Ever Eat” Foodie
Why isn’t there an app for food lovers to rejoice on and share all of their amazing eats? Seriously, if someone doesn’t create this, I will. All these ‘grammers do is make me hungry and crave foods I have never even really heard of. Please continue to do this though, I genuinely enjoy them.
9. The “Look How Great Of A Person I Am” Person
We love and acknowledge the fact that you have a great relationship with an ideal boyfriend, work with special needs children, workout every day, are in the best sorority, and probably fight crime in your spare time but really… do you need to post about every little awesome thing you to do make the world a better place? Why do you feel the need to boast about the great things you do? These people are the most annoying to me. Every once in awhile is acceptable, but if this is all your Instagram account consists of, please delete your account. People will be able to tell how great of a person you are without you posting about it every day, I promise. Your ego is at about a 99 on a scale of 1-10. Chill.
10. The “Look How ‘Cute’ My Children/Dogs Are” Mother
To be quite honest, your children and pets are adorable but they are nothing special to many people outside of your family.You do not have to post 11+ photos a day of your precious bundle of joy, we all know what he/she looks like by now.
11. The “Boomerang Only” Middle School Girl
Boomerang was cool for like five minutes when it first came out but we all know that one girl who still uses it constantly. Because why post just a photo when you can post basically a gif of yourself? Disclaimer: this girl probably also has “taken by @boyfriend’s name” with the lock emjoi in her bio. *unfollow*
12. The “Rave Life Is The Life For Me” Druggie
We definitely know someone who does a lot of street drugs and goes to raves. This person thrives at Coachella and Lollapalooza. Normal people enjoy these festivals as well, but probably not as much as someone who is high on more than life. They always have the coolest outfits and I wish I could pull off those beaded bracelets with funny sayings on them, so you go Glenn Coco if you’re someone who can. Rave on and stay out of trouble.
13. The “Fashion Blogger” Fashionista
Having a blog is great, trust me, I know from experience. Trying to promote your blog on Instagram-- not so great. It is extremely difficult for average people that haven’t reached Insta fame to get people to read their blogs but clicking a link in their bio. Instagram should fix this by allowing clickable links in the caption. I do enjoy the pictures that people post of their outfits though; so if you do this, thank you for the inspo.
14. The “Aspiring Hairstylist” Beautician
It is really neat to see all the different hair colors and styles someone can do, but seeing 13 different ombre pictures of different people is not so enthusing. We know what basic hairstyles look like-- give us something fresh!
15. The “I Only Post Selfies” Narcissist
Besides Kim K and little sister Kylie, we all probably know a girl in real life that only posts selfies. Occasionally there will be something different, but it’s a rare occurrence. How many different pictures can you take making the duck face that will still generate likes? I just don’t understand the logic. But we get it, you think you’re really pretty.
16. The “World Traveler” Travel Bug
We are literally all jealous of your life and probably your bank account. How do you have so much money to spend on these exquisite trips? Surely you have enough money to bring a friend along-- that friend being me of course! Almost anyone you meet would tell you that they want to travel all over the world. Hardly anyone you meet would tell you that they have been all over the world already. It’s really neat to see how beautiful the world outside our own home is, even if you can only look at the pictures of the world traveller you know.
So there you have it, the 16 types of Instagram-ers there are out there. We are all guilty of being at least one of these. Which one(s) are you?
