16 Thoughts When Driving in Terrible Weather

16 Thoughts When Driving in Terrible Weather

Just keep driving, just keep driving, just keep driving driving driving
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We've all been through a time when we've had to drive in terrible weather and, needless to say, it's a terrifying experience (at least for a wimpy driver like myself). Here are some of the many thoughts I have when driving in these conditions.

Fog

1. Why does fog exist? Like, "Hello, fog, you're being rude and blocking my view. Please exit!"

2. Now I can't even tell if I'm driving up or downhill because I CAN'T SEE!

3. Shoutout to the inventor of the curve signs, because without them I would have flown right into the ditch just now.

4. I feel like I could actually cut this fog with a knife, which makes me want to hyperventilate even more.

Ice

5. I have literally slid through three stop signs, but it's fine. Totally fine. Who needs brakes?

6. How am I in four-wheel drive and still spinning out?

7. I want to know how people could ever be on the show Ice Road Truckers. Being on that show would definitely give me a heart attack.

8. Why is this person doing 60 mph right now? I can see you fishtailing around over there. Better not get us both killed or I'm going to haunt you, even in the afterlife.

Snow

9. I feel betrayed by you snow. You look so pretty, but you're such a nuisance.

10. If this snow melts and then freezes my doors shut I'm going to protest. #StopIcyDoors2017.

11. Could somebody please come plow this road? Driving through more than six inches of snow is starting to get really old.

12.Yet again what if they plow the road and then compact it down into ice? That would be even worse. Never mind, you do you plows.

Rain

13. I know rain is a necessary evil and everything, but does it really have to rain this hard? I get it, rain, you want to hydrate the earth, but just slow down.

14. My windshield wipers can't even keep up with this anymore. You're letting me down wipers.

15. Yay an overpass is coming up so the rain will stop for 0.2 seconds. Then that overpass will go away and I'll be sad all over again.

16. I better not hydroplane. No ma'am, not today.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.cleveland.com/roadrant/index.ssf/2012/01/should_moving_vehicles_use_haz.html

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Rainy Days Are Absolutely AWFUL, Don't @ Me

A gloomy day is also a doomed day.

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I am going to lose quite a few friendships after this article is published, but this needs to be said: rainy days suck! I'd rather it be snowing than raining any day.

During rainy days, I literally have no motivation to do anything. It's so dark and gloomy out, and everyone just feels — gray. How do you expect me to get work done if the weather is so bad? Getting up for class daily is already hard enough but on rainy days it's especially difficult and nearly impossible. Every rainy day should be dubbed as days that classes are canceled.

Also, can we talk about how it ruins HAIR? Like, I could have my hair straightened and the moment any part of my head comes in contact with a water droplet, it's over. All of the effort and work that I put into my thick hair is gone, all because of the weather. The frizz is real and I look like I got electrocuted by the time I reach my destination. Humidity plays a huge factor too. The rain could pause but if I walk outside all done up, you best believe my hair will poof up due to the humidity lingering in the air.

When I'm wearing my glasses and it starts pouring, it's so uncomfortable. I hate it when raindrops fill up my glasses and then I am in no control of the fact that I can't see for a second. With the drivers on our campus, that's NOT safe. Ugh, I hate it.

Okay, I am a sucker for keeping my shoes clean, I freaking love my sneakers. If there is unexpected rain and I don't have my rain boots on, I literally will refuse to leave the building until the rain stops or I will Uber everywhere. And even when I am wearing rain boots, they are so uncomfy and walking in them around campus sucks. They don't look cute with any outfit either (at least mine don't). Walking in the rain on campus in general sucks, whether you have an umbrella or raincoat. There are too many people and someone's bound to get poked in the eye by an umbrella.

Rainy days take a TOLL on my mood, too.

Like, I feel just as sad as the weather looks for no apparent reason and start having really dark thoughts about life and my future, or I go to sleep and end up sleeping the entire day. I don't even want to leave my bed. I have things to do and places to be every single day and rainy days will ruin my week whenever they come along.

Rainy days are the literal worst and if you agree, please let me know so we can bond over this.

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