15 Comments You Give Vegetarians They DEFINITELY Haven't Gotten A Million Times Before

15 Comments You Give Vegetarians They DEFINITELY Haven't Gotten A Million Times Before

Please, we beg of you, stop making these comments.
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Making the choice to become a vegetarian is personal. Of course, there are amazing benefits such as overall better health and exhibiting justice for animals, so we will definitely be ready to share those findings with you. However, it can get highly annoying, not to mention even a little awkward, when people relentlessly ask me the same vegetarian questions that I have already answered for them every time that I come around. I completely understand that people are inquisitive, but there comes a point when the questions can seem condescending. It's really no big deal that I do not eat meat; so please stop making it seem like one.

Here are 15 comments that all vegetarians are totally sick of hearing.

1. "So, do you eat fish?"

No. I'm a vegetarian, not a pescatarian.

2. "You can still drink milk, right?"

Yes. Again, I'm a vegetarian, not vegan.

3. "It must be so awkward for you to eat out."

Um... no not at all.

4. "Do you miss meat?"

For the tenth time, no I don't. If I did, then I wouldn't be a vegetarian anymore.

5. "Do you realize that animals are still being killed whether you are eating them or not?

Yes, I'm not naive. I am simply choosing not to condone that behavior by not supporting massive meat industries. Anyways, there are health benefits to not eating meat too.

6. "Doesn't this *insert piece of meat* look sooooo good?!?"

No, it does not...and I would greatly appreciate if you would stop waving it in front of my face.

7. "Just for clarification, you don't eat fish?"

No, no fish!

8. "Hey, you're a vegetarian, so you can't eat that."

Thank you for point out the obvious, but it is definitely unnecessary for you to announce to the entire room that I am a vegetarian when the main course of this home-cooked meal is meat.

9. "Should I make you something special?"

I greatly appreciate that you asked, but I am not trying to cause any trouble. You do not have to make an entirely separate main dish for me.

10. "Your bones are probably weak because of your lack of protein."

First of all, there are several sources of protein that are not meat. Second, I did not point out to you the fact that your meat-laden diet increases your risk for heart disease, so please let me just live my life and I'll let you live yours.

11. "Will your kids be vegetarians?"

If my children want to be, then yes.

12. "Are you planning to be a vegetarian for the rest of your life?"

I never even planned on becoming a vegetarian in the first place; it just happened. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

13. "How can you just cut something out of your life like that?"

The same way that anyone cuts anything out of their life.

14. "What do you even eat on Thanksgiving?"

Well, there are plenty of delicious sides that do not involve meat, so probably a few of those.

15. "Sorry, but you can't eat that because it has meat in it."

I am well-aware, and please do not feel "sorry" for me.

Cover Image Credit: Kelsey Dietrich

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Sorry Not Sorry, My Parents Paid For My Coachella Trip

No haters are going to bring me down.
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This piece is intended to be a satire of an experience at Coachella.

With Coachella officially over, lives can go back to normal and we can all relive Beyonce’s performance online for years to come. Or, if you were like me and actually there, you can replay the experience in your mind for the rest of your life, holding dear to the memories of an epic weekend and a cultural experience like no other on the planet.

And I want to be clear about the Beyonce show: it really was that good.

But with any big event beloved by many, there will always be the haters on the other side. The #nochella’s, the haters of all things ‘Chella fashion. And let me just say this, the flower headbands aren’t cultural appropriation, they’re simply items of clothing used to express the stylistic tendency of a fashion-forward event.

Because yes, the music, and sure, the art, but so much of what Coachella is, really, is about the fashion and what you and your friends are wearing. It's supposed to be fun, not political! Anyway, back to the main point of this.

One of the biggest things people love to hate on about Coachella is the fact that many of the attendees have their tickets bought for them by their parents.

Sorry? It’s not my fault that my parents have enough money to buy their daughter and her friends the gift of going to one of the most amazing melting pots of all things weird and beautiful. It’s not my fault about your life, and it’s none of your business about mine.

All my life, I’ve dealt with people commenting on me, mostly liking, but there are always a few that seem upset about the way I live my life.

One time, I was riding my dolphin out in Turks and Cacaos, (“riding” is the act of holding onto their fin as they swim and you sort of glide next to them. It’s a beautiful, transformative experience between human and animal and I really think, when I looked in my dolphin’s eye, that we made a connection that will last forever) and someone I knew threw shade my way for getting to do it.

Don’t make me be the bad guy.

I felt shame for years after my 16th birthday, where my parents got me an Escalade. People at school made fun of me (especially after I drove into a ditch...oops!) and said I didn’t deserve the things I got in life.

I can think of a lot of people who probably don't deserve the things in life that they get, but you don't hear me hating on them (that's why we vote, people). Well, I’m sick of being made to feel guilty about the luxuries I’m given, because they’ve made me who I am, and I love me.

I’m a good person.

I’m not going to let the Coachella haters bring me down anymore. Did my parents buy my ticket and VIP housing? Yes. Am I sorry about that? Absolutely not.

Sorry, not sorry!

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Harasta

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10 Reasons That My Staple Is Bread And Cheese

Nothin' else is necessary.
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This goes out to all those who have scoffed at my eating habits.

You'll never understand me fully. But you'll come close if you read this article.

Cheese and bread. Bread and cheese.

What could go wrong?

.. not sure, but a lot can go RIGHT!

Here are 10 beautiful reasons to love the simple simplicity of cheese and bread. No need to get fancy to get filled:

1. Grilled Cheese

2. A just cheese taco

3. A cheese Quesadilla

4. Cheese bread

5. A cheese bagel

6. A cheese stick and a roll

7. Garlic Bread with cheese on top

8. A cheesy pancake

9. Sauceless pizza

10. A cheese calzone

And to increase the insanity,

here is a poem in honor of this dynamic duo:

I love cheese:

To ooze and squeeze

To greet and eat

To chomp and beat

In my hungry mouth

Until it goes south

Stanza 2

I love bread

Better than lead

Cause it's edible,

Cause it's fed

Me for many a year.

Cheers.

I hope this made you laugh. What a banner article.

Cover Image Credit: Susan Powe

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