Whenever someone rolls their eyes at me when I declare that I'm going to be staying in for another Friday evening, I just want to ask them what exactly they find wrong with popcorn and sweatpants. If you're like me, and I know that my people are out there, you've probably been told that you're a "grandmother" or "grandfather" before. But even though we've all heard that term, I think it's time for a rebrand. It's the twenty-first century and being a New Age Grandparent isn't as terrible as it may seem.
1. You knit, but only for beanies that you wear ironically.
Don't even ask me to make you a scarf.
2. You almost never change out of your old school pajamas, but you rock the effortlessly chic look.
And yes, you somewhat understand technology.
3. You enjoy staying in every night, but only to binge-watch the latest trending TV series.
Obviously you understand the importance of "Orange is the New Black" and "Scandal" over another night at the bars.
4. Yes, you wear practical footwear. But that doesn't mean that it isn't fly!
Those chunky heels are perfect for a night out.
5. You can't see without your glasses, but also you didn't buy the large-scale Burberry frames to just wear contacts.
It's all about style, my dear.
6. Your Instagram is full of pictures of your pets that you dress up.
But even so, at least you're on Instagram!
7. You're on a special diet.
Only it's gluten free, and it wasn't prescribed by your doctor.
8. You Bake.
Just not in the traditional sense… and in legal states.
9. You no longer enjoy drinking cheap beer.
You've switched to cheap wine.
10. You're interested solely in vintage bands.
But only if they have some cool band T-shirts.
11. You say, "Oh, honey," but only when you're being condescending.
And said, "Uh huh, honey," way before Kanye.
12. You have trouble keeping up with the times.
And by times you mean Kardashians. How hard is it to get the new lip kit?
13. You're way into prints.
And floral is your go-to.
14. You don't understand the current slang.
But 2014's slang is your dictionary.
15. Your friends always call you when they go out.
You're prepared ("There's some toilet paper in my purse!") and a better time than all those 20-somethings at the house party. Let me show you how to bring back the sprinkler.
