Ah Starbucks, Starbs, The Bucks, the reason I’ve made it this far in my college career. Starbs and I go way back. The addiction started in elementary school with hot chocolate, upgraded to Vanilla Bean Frappuccino’s in middle school, lattes in high school, and now… well now I just get a Black Eye (two shots of espresso in a cup of coffee) and just hope for the caffeinated mermaid goddess to work her magic ASAP. If you’re anything like me, you’re too far gone to be saved now, but how did you get this deep?
1. Your order is more than five syllables
“Hi! Can I get an iced Venti Soy Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso?” Don’t laugh, this is one of my normal orders and it is delicious and can save lives.
2. The baristas know your name
Cute messages like “hope you enjoy!” also fall under this category
3. You recognize the baristas from your local Starbucks outside of the store
You guys are basically best friends, it’s really fine
4. You’ve overdosed on caffeine before
One time, my doctor looked me in the eye and said “You’ve overdosed on Starbucks” and I just laughed because it was only a matter of time.
5. You’re a Gold Member
I don’t take you seriously unless you have that gold glittery card with your name on it.
6. People ask what you recommend
You might as well be a Sommelier but with Starbucks instead of wine
7. When people ask you if you drink Dunkin’ Doughnuts coffee, you can’t help but laugh
That’s like going to a sushi place and getting chicken nuggets. It’s called Dunkin’ DOUGHNUTS and Starbucks COFFEE. I rest my case.
8. People call you “basic”
If liking good coffee with a strong percentage of caffeine content makes me “basic”, then so be it.
9. You have a love/hate relationship with the app
Love the fact that I get rewards, hate the fact that it makes it so easy for me to spend all my money.
10. Making your own coffee just isn’t the same
Sometimes you just want the Starbucks experience, and by sometimes, I mean all the time.
11. You feel naked without a cup in your hand
“Okay keys, phone, bag, wallet, why do I feel like I’m forgetting something?”
12. You complain about having no money, but have no problem with buying a $6 cup of coffee
There for four basic needs: food, water, shelter, and Starbucks
13. People know not to attempt to talk to you before your daily dose of Starbucks
No talkie before coffee.
14. You live for the seasonal drinks
I’m convinced that a Peppermint Mocha is the solution to world peace
15. Lastly, you’re really easy to shop for
Birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day (lol), if you want to get me a good present, a $10 Starbucks gift card will make me oh so happy
Look, the first step is to admit that you have a problem. We can get through this glorious coffee addiction together.
