At this point in my life I’ve realized that people aren’t very reliable. More specifically, college guys are literally the least reliable people on the planet. I’ve basically reverted back to my kindergarten mindset that all boys have cooties, so the best option is to just avoid them. People will let you down. Boys will definitely let you down. But food, my friends, will never let you down. Hence the number one reason why food is way better than any boy could ever be, and here are 15 more just for good measure.
1. Food is always there for you.
Had a bad day? In need of some serious emotional support? Food is there for you. Just one short walk to the fridge away and you will find the comfort you need in the worst of times.
2. It never sends mixed signals.
Have you ever sat staring at a text trying to analyze it to its core and figure out the deeper meaning even though you know in the back of your mind "What’s up" probably just means “What’s up?" Food would never cause you that much stress.
3. You don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of food.
You can be as ugly as you want, as awkward as you want, and as drunk as you want and your food will still be waiting for you at the end of the night.
4. The delivery guy always answers your calls.
No matter what time -- day or night -- the Dominos delivery guy will always answer your desperate calls, usually even on the first ring.
5. It won't leave you for another girl.
There’s enough food to go around for you and all your friends. No competition here.
6. It won't judge you.
There’s enough judgment being passed in this world; we need a relationship that is completely judgment-free, and food can give us that.
7. You never have to question its motives.
Food is very upfront about its intentions.
8. You will always have options.
No current romantic prospects on your horizon? That’s OK, there’s still an entire freezer section full of ice cream for you to choose from whenever you want.
9. You don't have to worry about impressing food.
No makeup? Feeling bloated and obese? Don’t worry; your burrito bowl accepts you at your worst.
10. Food can't tell if you've shaved your legs or not.
Enough said, honestly.
11. It will never break your heart.
Food will never cause you an emotional damage. The only possible outcome of your relationship is happiness and satisfaction.
12. It will never harass you at bars or send you weird, creepy Facebook messages.
I always think I’ve seen it all until some new creep offers to buy me a drink then talks to me about the meaning of my zodiac sign for 20 minutes. Food would never be that weird.
13. You can have it whenever and wherever you want.
Food is on your schedule. No waiting around for a date night that’s never going to happen.
14. You don't have to worry about waiting for a text back.
Say goodbye to checking your phone like a paranoid crazy person only to see that he still hasn’t texted you back, again. Those cheese fries will not leave you hanging.
15. Nothing is complicated about your relationship.
Worry-free, stress-free, and problem-free. This long term relationship is here to stay. I think this might even be "the one."
