Remember the good ol' days when we thought Donald Trump was just faking his run for president? I'm still convinced Ashton Kutcher will pop out somewhere and yell "Gotcha!" while the whole United States breathes a sigh of relief. But sadly, it seems like that dream is slowly slipping out of our grasp and we may have to get used to the idea of President Trrrr...*gags*...okay maybe I'm not ready. But I am ready if he becomes president to pack up my things and start a new life! So if you're with me, here's 11 great places you can move to if hell freezes over!
1. Canada
Canada has already said it will open its borders to United States citizens if Donald Trump should win the presidency. With free health care and beautiful lakes and forest areas for long hikes, Canada might be the place for you!
2. Italy
Italy is a country so beautifully rich in culture it's impossible not to love. The birthplace of pizza and such amazing pastas with people who will gladly include you in Sunday dinners even if you're not family. Named the #1 Most Beautiful Country in the World, Italy is thriving with absolute freedom of an orange haired tyrant.
3. France
Come on, is there anything better than cream puffs and beignets? Their bakeries are just one thing you'll get in France. France is thriving with several new cuisines taking inspiration from all over the world. There's also seven courses in France so you'll never be hungry. With amazing atmosphere from the Eiffel Tower and La Louvre, France is more classy than Trump ever hopes to be.
4. Greece
I know, you're probably thinking, "Greece's economy is falling apart! Why would we want to move to Greece?!" Well, all the beautiful history of the Grecian gods is seen everywhere in Greece. You can stand in the beautiful state and yell, "THIS IS SPARTA" and be correct. And three little words: NO DONALD TRUMP!
5. Brazil
Brazil is teeming with nature's gifts such as the waterfalls of Iguazu. Brazil is not too far away so when Donald Trump is kicked out of office, if he even gets there, you can move back with no problem! And Brazil is a great party place with several carnivals and concerts throughout the country to keep your life exciting!
6. Germany
This one surprises many because Germany is so underrated. However, Germany has beautiful castles that you have to see to believe. Germany is also the birthplace of many fairytales and luckily the only orange haired trickster in German tongue is Rumplestiltskin. So spend some time in the Alps cooling down your liberal angst.
7. Spain
We have all heard beauty stories from Spain and how wonderful he is. And since many people took Spanish in high school, a quick Rosetta Stone will have you in the culture in no time! And hey, no beef with the United States so hopefully no carpet bombing!
8. Portugal
Right next door to Spain, Portugal is a scenic tour of the beautiful Atlantic Ocean and some really beautiful cliffs that I would love to go dive off of. But no matter whether you follow my jump or stay in America, both end in poor judgment and sharp consequences. Portugal also has the "floating garden" that should most definitely be on your top ten things to see before you die.
9. Australia
Forget about the big scary spiders for a second and focus on the KANGAROOS. Seriously, I don't think there's a better reason than kangaroos, they're crazy cute. However, Australia kind of just keeps to itself and doesn't interfere too much with foreign policy. It's a beautiful island that promotes the destruction of Trump's campaign looking out for Americans, what cool people.
10. England
Same language and a queen that is cooler than most of us will ever be, what's not to like? Add that to fish and chips, a huge Ferris wheel and Big Ben, England is a pretty rad place. PSA: a police Republic in England has endorsed Trump as a presidential candidate, do with that information what you will, but at least England gives us a view of what Trump wants, a monarchy with absolute power going into the hands of one person, him. You'll never be the queen Donald.
11. China
Last but not least the one place Donald Trump hates more than Mexicans and the illegal immigrants he employs combined, CHINA. He hates them because we are in a competition with China to be the number one developed and economical stable country in the world. Either that or he hates child labor but seriously, some of them probably made those "Make America Great" hats he gives to his followers. Do it out of spite, or do it for the rich culture and wonderful people China has to offer. Just remember, Donald Trump's next wife will probably be mail ordered from China to look like he's not a hypocrite, so warn your friends.
Alright everybody, there are 11 countries you can move to in case Donald Trump becomes president. I hope you find happiness wherever you go and I hope Donald Trump doesn't win this campaign because I don't have enough money in my "Broke College Student Fund" to afford this. Oh, I know, I'll just ask my father for a small loan of a million dollars. What could go wrong?
