I am new at this. My first boyfriend. My first love. My first everything. Promises of always and forever. Fights over who loves the other one more. Kissing at red stoplights because we always had to kiss the other. All gone. It's only been two weeks, but it's been the longest two weeks of my life. He touched everything in my life, left a mark on it all. It's been hard to look at or do the things I normally do, because it makes me think of him. I have no idea what I'm doing. But I'm trying to feel better. Here are some ways I've found to ease the pain I've been feeling the past couple of weeks.

1. Cry

Lorelai Gilmore said it best when she reminded us that wallowing is part of the healing process. You can be sad, angry, upset, hurt, betrayed. Feel it even though it hurts. Even after all of this, I'd rather be the girl who feels too much, than nothing at all.

2. Listen to Sad Music

This will probably happen during the above, or will cause the above to happen. "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift and "Unkiss Me" by Maroon 5 are the ones I've been listening to.

3. Distract Yourself

Whether that means going out with friends, focusing on work or school, or getting more involved in activities you enjoy, you'll find yourself going a little while without thinking about the cracks in your heart. Sometimes you'll need a break from the ache in your chest.

4. Do Not Text Your Ex (Unless They Text First)

This one has been difficult for me. I wanted to text him so many times, but I didn't send them. Why? Because if he cared about how I was doing, he'd reach out to me. If he doesn't text me and ask, it means he doesn't care. And even though we may not want better, even though all we want is them back, we deserve better than someone who doesn't care.

5. Lean On Your Friends

This has been the most important one for me. From staying up with me until 3 a.m. because feeling your heart break inside your chest is too much pain to deal with alone, listening to me cry (a lot), letting me talk it out and figure out how I feel and why I feel that way, just being there holding my hand and never letting go. Thank you, fam. I could not go through this alone.

6. Buy Something New For Yourself

A new dress, a new pair of shoes, a new lip stain, new shampoo, new bedding, new towels, a new matching bra and underwear set, anything. Start fresh. Even though it's the last thing you want to do. Doing something for just you, just to make you happy, feels not only exciting, but also empowering.

7. Don't look at old photos, text messages, their social media, etc.

Learn from my mistakes. Old photos will make you miss them, and wish you were still together.The text messages will make you question and analyze unnecessary pieces of your breakup and relationship. Stalking their social media will only hurt you, whether it's because they're having fun without you, or they've deleted all of the photos of the two of you together. None of it will change the result. You do not need to hurt yourself more than he's already hurt you.

8. Change up your style a little.

My nails are currently red and I haven't left the house without a choker in days. I'm a floral dress and strappy sandals kind of girl, so it's definitely a change. But looking like I'm put together and strong, makes me feel put together and strong. Fake it till you make it. Today might have been the first day I didn't have to fake it, you'll get there, I promise.

9. Listen to "Strong Independent Woman" Music

Listen to songs that make you feel good about yourself, songs that make you feel strong and empowered, songs that make you fight the sadness with the feeling of someday being okay. Might I suggest "Good as Hell" Lizzo, "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield, "Stronger" by Sarah Evans, and "Miss Movin' On" by Fifth Harmony.

10. Follow Inspiring People On Social Media

What helps me out when my friends do eventually fall asleep, are the strong, successful, and independent women I follow on social media. Bodyposipanda and fallingintoselflove remind me to absolutely, never, under any circumstance think that I am not enough. The daily body positivity and self love has made all the difference. Carolinecalloway, aka the amazing woman who I aspire to be, is a writer constantly going on adventures and being daring and spontaneous. All of that has made me love her for the last four years, but now, even more so, she's had her heart broken twice. Knowing that my role model, as successful, and carefree that she is, has overcome something as awful as this feeling that has taken root inside my chest and has grown to my stomach and to my head, gives me hope.

11. Take This Time To Focus On You

Do what you want. Do what makes you happy. Be selfish. In January if you asked me if I was thinking of studying abroad, I would've laughed at you. Now, I have an appointment with my adviser to see if going to Italy is something I could realistically do.

12. Be a Badass

Whatever that means to you. It's your body, your definition, your decision. For me it's little things like wearing heels, shutting down sexist comments in class, being kind to strangers, and not being afraid to say how I feel or what I want.

13. Cuddle Something

I've been hanging out with my two baby nieces, and my hypoallergenic dog for the past couple of weeks. Maybe it's because their love is unconditional, maybe it's because they're so innocent and the world hasn't hurt them yet, maybe they're just cute and make you feel warm and fuzzy. It'll help either way.

14. Wake up each day and try to remember it's going to get better

I have days where I break down crying in my car on the way to class, then by lunch feel like I'm better off without him, and that I deserve better. You don't have to be one or the other. Be both. Be one. Be neither. Your feelings—all of them—are valid. The feeling of being heartbroken is unlike anything I've ever felt. I think what hurts the most is the unknown. Not knowing how or when you're going to get through this. Not knowing how you're ever supposed to love someone ever again. Not knowing how you're supposed to go through life without him by your side. Not knowing how he's feeling. Not knowing why he did what he did. Not having the answers. Not knowing my future.

Here is what I now know to be true:

Heartbreak is horrific. When he hung up the phone, I was paralyzed, it didn't matter how loud I cried or for how long, because he was gone. I gave him everything I had, and he changed his mind.

Love is beautiful. This, what you're feeling right now isn't love, it's pain, betrayal, dishonesty, anger, sadness, because of someone's lack of love for you. Don't hate love. As I'm writing this, all I want to do is hate love, but I know I can't. If you get to thinking love doesn't exist, just look at your mom, dad, sibling, best friend, or anyone that you love. Just because one person didn't love you, doesn't mean that no one does.

You can do this. Most days I don't think I'll get through it. And that's okay. You're allowed to feel like that. Each day you'll get a little bit stronger. If you ever feel alone, just remember you have a whole girl gang by your side feeling the exact same way you do.

And we believe in you.