*Before we start off on our way, I ask you bear with my sarcasm. Yes, I've lived in Britt for a while, and there's some great people there, but it is rather clear that I've moved on from this little town in North Central Iowa.
Ah, Britt, you small, small town nestled in the endless cornfields of Iowa. It's been less than interesting living within you for the past, what, 12 years? (I don't know, it's been a long time and I've lost interest counting.) And yet, you've never changed.
How does one identify someone from Britt? Let me tell thy ways:
1. Everyone -- literally everyone -- is related.
Yes. I'm pretty sure I graduated with at least seven cousins. In regards to the entire high school there were probably at least 15 of us milling about between freshman and senior classes.
2. Your graduating class has less than 100 people.
That's because there's only around about 200 people in the whole high school. I mean, I graduated with 38 people. And the biggest class at the time was the Class of 2012 with 56 grads.
This can also be a good thing, because you ALL can make bank (or at least a little bit of bank) on scholarships. This can also be a downer because everyone knows everything about everyone and what everyone did or didn't do over the weekend.
3. You ran to main street and back for the mile run.
That's right. Since Britt is only a mile across from the high school to the cornfield on the other side of town, you ran to main street and back if it was nice enough. And, the street we ran on was only one over from my street, so I could've gone home if I wanted. I mean, my mile took long enough (I don't run).
4. There's nothing to do.
Unless you want to go to the Hob Nob, Titanium Lunchbox, or Dollar General, there's literally nothing NOTHING to do in Britt. Your options to hang out are: hang out at someone's house, cruise the streets, or go to Algona or Mason City.
5. Hobo Days.
The second weekend in August is Hobo Days. This is when a bunch of people either A) come in and pretend like they are hobos, B) are relatives of depression era hobos, or C) come home for class/family reunions. Anyway, this is probably the only time Britt is a hopping place to be. There's a carnival, a parade, and a car show, all pretty much on Main Street.
6. Walking.
Everything is within walking distance if you live in town. I've walked to work and to the library and to hair appointments for so many years it doesn't really bother me that I have have to walk around campus now.
7. Everyone is on every team.
There's no distinction between track team and basketball team and speech team. Everyone's in everything or at least multiple things. There was no single descriptor or label: there were no speech geeks, choir freaks, and complete jocks. Everyone was involved is some random combination of things that went year round. Once one thing ended another started.
8. Snow days, late starts, and early outs.
With people living on farms and in the country we had to take into account buses safely getting out to their houses then to school, then from school and back. So we got a lot of snow days, late starts, and early outs thrown our way.
9. Harvest/Tractors
Half of your class has to help in some way with the harvest in the fall. And there was a scheduled day where students could drive their tractors to school. Yes, you read that correctly. Drive a big green or big red tractor to SCHOOL. It was a distinct, scheduled day.
10. The whole town closes down if one of the sports teams (especially ones that haven't gone in a long time or ever) makes it to state.
That's right, full-on pep rally, send off with the fire trucks, homecoming with the fire trucks. For example: when we made it to state football in 2011 the whole damn town of Britt showed up for the semi-final and championship games.
11. Everything is held in the high school gym.
Sporting event? Obviously in the gym.
Blood drive? Come to the gym!
Choir and band concert? Yeah, that's in the gym.
Veteran's Day program? Coordinates: Gym.
Homecoming Pep Rally? G-Y-M
Prom? I cordially invite you to the gymnasium
Speech Showcase or Fall Play? Well, the stage is in the gym so... (Also, those two years when we actually had a spring musical, and that one year when we kind of had a show choir. Kind of.)
Graduation? Gymnasium
12. Church goes hand in hand with breakfast.
Post-mass, post-service, everyone either goes to Mary Jo's Hobo House or gets doughnuts at Casey's. In order to get food at either, you have to leave right after mass or service, otherwise the Hobo House is PACKED (and I know, because I've worked there) or Casey's is out of doughnuts.
13. There's several places of worship.
Despite there only being around 2,000 people in Britt and the town itself being a mere mile across, there's still like, 15 places you could choose to go to church. There's the Catholic church, the Lutheran church, the Church of Zion, the Evangelical Free church, the Baptist church, Methodist church. God forbid I forget one. And they're literally scattered about randomly amid houses. You'll be walking along, pass some houses and BOOM! Parking lot and church!
14. Either no one has heard of Britt or they know Hobo Days.
Britt is either unidentifiable or people know the truth. They either shrug their shoulders like "eh, I give up in figuring out where that's at" or "Oh! You're the place with the hoboes!"
*smacks forehead* "Yeah, that's us."
So, I mean, Britt's not necessarily on anyone's vacation list, but it's an okay place to grow up in.
