Let's be real right now. Is there anyone who actually likes going to the gym? I mean sure, it's great to be healthy and active. Going to the gym makes me feel powerful, strong and confident. But no one can deny that it's not their absolute favorite activity in the world, and if you do deny that, you're lying. So, here are 14 thoughts someone has while going through the process of joining a gym for the first time. It might be rewarding, but sometimes it's really hard to convince yourself of that.
1. I need to find a gym.
There are just so many to choose from! How do I pick? There's the one with 24/7 hours, or the one with free Wi-Fi, or the one with personal trainers, or the one with free exercise classes. I just don't know. What I do know, though, is that picking the right gym might be more stressful than the thought of actually going to the gym.
2. Wait, it's how much?
Whoa. Seriously? How can it cost me so much to literally go somewhere to torture myself? OK, deep breath. You want this, remember? Just do it. It'll totally be worth it in the end. I hope.
3. I have nothing to wear!
Cool, I joined a gym! I can't wait to go tomorr— Oh, wait. What do I wear to a gym? I can't wear those shorts I bought a couple years ago to wear to the gym I never joined. Nope, no way. I need to go buy $50 worth of cute exercise pants! Yeah, that's totally what I need to do now. It'll be worth it, right...?
4. I'm paying for it, I should probably go.
I've got the gym, I've got the wardrobe and I've got the bill. I guess if I'm paying this ungodly amount of money each month, I should probably use my shiny new membership card and actually go. Fine, you talked me in to it. I'll go. Tomorrow.
5. All right, I'm actually going.
I'm awake. I'm dressed in my cute new exercise outfit. My gym bag is packed. Let's go. I'm totally going. Right now. I can do this. Look, I actually am going! Go me, go! Woo!
6. Why are there so many cars in the parking lot?
Holy mother of no parking spots! Why are there so many cars here? Does this mean other people are going to be in the gym, too? What!? Why did I never think of this before? A lot of people means a lot of judgement. You know, I'm still in my car. I could totally just leave. No one would ever know I was even here... No. Just do it. You're too far in. Suck it up, princess. Get out of the car and go.
7. You need my picture?
Why hello, overly perky desk worker. Yes, this is my first time! Thanks for pointing that out, it's not like I'm trying to act casual and fit in. It's fine. Whoa, whoa, whoa — what are you saying to me? You need my picture? Seriously? I'm about to go work out. My hair is ratchet, and I'm not wearing makeup. This is not the ideal time for a picture. Whatever, I just do it so I can leave sooner.
8. The dreaded locker room.
Ah, the locker room. A room full of lockers. And a room full of other women just like me, except way more physically sculpted and toned than me. Whatever. That's why I'm here, right? People can't judge me for trying to better myself, right? Yeah, I'll just keep telling myself that...
9. Pick a machine. Any machine.
Oh my gosh. There are so many different machines. So. Many. Just pick one, any one. The elliptical, the treadmill, the bicycle thing, all of those intimidating weight lifting doohickeys. Just pick one already! You look ridiculous just standing in the doorway, staring in astonishment. OK, well since I actually know how to use it, how about I just start with the elliptical.
10. All right, I can do this.
Why was I dreading this so much? This isn't so bad! I can totally do this!
11. Never mind, I can't do this.
Holy crap! What was I thinking? I totally cannot do this! Yes Mr. Elliptical, I know I still have seven minutes left and yes, I know if I let go of the sensors to wipe the sweat off my face and drink some water, you can't read my heart rate. Stop beeping at me, oh my gosh! Make it all stop! I wonder how loud my breathing is right now. I'm not even going to embarrass myself by turning down my music to check.
12. Hey, I did it!
Ah! Forty-five whole minutes and 500 calories down, and I'm done! Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Sure, I'm sweaty and gross. But I still did it! Boom. Look at me go,
13. Where is my car?
Crap. Where did I end up parking? I was too busy trying to talk myself out of going to the gym that I didn't even notice where I finally found a parking spot. Eh, this parking lot isn't that big. [Cue annoying car alarm].
14. Why do I hurt so much?
Oh my gosh. Why do my legs hurt so bad? And my back? And my arms? All I did yesterday was lay on the couch and go to the gym. Oh. Right. I went to the gym. Am I supposed to do that again today? Yeah, probably.
