Ah, yes—we have officially made it to the middle of summer. For most of you, that means vacations, lakeside camping, and pick-up softball. For us swimming instructors, however, July brings one thing that will take over our lives for the next three weeks: public lessons. So, my fellow teachers, let's change out of our damp swimsuit, wash the chlorine out of our hair, and all unite upon the signs that all swimming instructors can relate to.
1. Public lessons have forced you to become a morning person.
On the bright side, jumping into freezing cold water at 8:30 a.m. will definitely wake you up.
2. Your ears have become immune to the high screeches of little children.
At first, you honestly didn't even know humans were physically capable of making those sounds...
3. There are moments in which you feel that "floating on your tummy" is straight-up rocket science.
"Look, it's not that hard! It's just like sleeping!"
4. More than once, you have been tempted to push a kid off the diving board.
I know—how terrible to say. But once they go off, they realize it's not that bad, okay!
5. Chlorine is your worst enemy.
You will go through bottles and bottles of lotion and conditioner, and your hair and skin will still feel nasty.
6. You have a love/hate relationship with kids.
Mostly love, though.
7. Parents who "help" you teach make you want to rip your hair out.
"Can you please go sit on the bleachers?"
8. You have used the phrase, "Put your belly up!" too many times to count
Make a star, put your head back, and put your tummy up. Voila, you can float on your back!
9. You get used to some truly disgusting things.
You are constantly wiping off boogers, getting water spat in your face, and most likely getting peed on. But do you care? Not anymore.
10. You secretly compare your teaching styles to other instructors.
11. The last day of lessons (A.K.A. "Fun Day") is the best day of the entire session.
12. You have had to intervene on some serious noodle wars.
"I will take away your noodle privileges!!"
13. There is no greater feeling than seeing your students pass a level.
14. Despite complaining about public swimming lessons for a majority of the summer, you will end up missing those little kids come September.
Stop denying it—you know you love teaching lessons.
