For many young adults, this is our first time being allowed to vote. It's an exciting moment in our lives in which we can finally have a say in who will run our country. That being said, one would guess most of us millennials would be thrilled to vote in this upcoming election. Well, for many of us, that's not the case. Never in our country's presidential history have we had an election where the candidates fight on Twitter, call each other names, or, wait for it...create mock "Pokémon Go" presidential cards.
I can just picture George Washington and Abe Lincoln shaking their heads in disbelief. Now you can see why some first-time voters are a little disappointed that this is their first election. I, for one, am not looking forward to voting in this election. This is a list of things that I would rather do than vote for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.
1. Vote for my dog.
She can't tweet or say anything mean, and she'll solve all issues by licking people to death.
2. Move.
Bora Bora sounds nice! Or maybe Fiji? Anywhere seems better than a country ruled by a "crook" or an oompa loompa.
3. Freeze my body until the next election.
Michael Jackson wanted to freeze his body, just for it to be defrosted like month-old chicken parm. That sounds pretty appealing to me (and so does the chicken parm). This way when enough time has passed, their time in office would be over. It would be like time traveling without the time machine.
4. Elect Kanye.
And, Taylor Swift will be his Vice President. I bet that would be less of a mess than one of our lovely candidates being in office.
5. Take a trip to space with Kim Kardashian.
Her implants probably couldn't take the air pressure after a few thousand feet, so then I'd have the whole shuttle to myself.
6. Listen to "Barbie Girl" on repeat for a year straight.
I'm talking constant replay. No breaks, ever. That high pitched voice will sound like sweet victory if I don't have to settle for one of these candidates.
7. Watch "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" until my eyes dry out.
I don't care how many "dollas" make her holler. I'd sit through it until my eyes couldn't take it anymore.
8. Take part in all Fear Factor challenges.
Having to eat sheep eyes and drink cow's blood were some of the most memorable episodes of Fear Factor. I'd even do the spider-filled bath.
9. Count grains of sand.
I'm talking about all of the sand on the planet.
10. Put the "Kars 4 Kids" song on replay, forever.
If you haven't heard this jingle, consider yourself blessed. It's the most annoyingly catchy song ever.
11. Read every single comment on YouTube.
Just think about how many comments there are on "Gangnam Style" alone.
12. Clean the Empire State Building with a toothbrush.
It's just 102 floors and 1,250 feet high with a toothbrush.
13. Elect Borat
He would be a great success. Very nice.
So forgive me for not jumping at the chance to vote for one of two 13-year-old's that fight over social media and call each other names. This isn't middle school, it's the presidential election.
