Cristina Yang was right when she told Meredith Grey her infamous goodbye before leaving Grey’s Anatomy. “Do not let what he wants eclipse what you need. He is not the sun. You are.” The guy you’re with might not be as perfect as McDreamy, but that’s okay. If you suspect something isn’t right, you’re probably right. This is a list of 13 golden reasons you already know he isn’t the one, but you are too reluctant to admit it.
1. You know his exes…and he hasn’t even told you about them.
Okay, everyone is guilty of creeping on Facebook, who isn’t? However, after a few days of talking, you find yourself 48 weeks deep into his Instagram. After a few minutes of hardcore stalking, you already know who he’s dated. This one is skinny with a tattoo sleeve, that one is blonde with a nose ring, the other one was his girlfriend of two years, and the list goes on and on. Now you know of them so well that you could pick them out of a crowd at a Drake concert. Sound familiar?
2. You’re really fond of movie nights.
Let me guess… your first time “hanging out” was a typical movie night. Am I right? How creative of him. Am I wrong? Then you’re in the clear! Movie nights aren’t just an excuse to cuddle and get close; I’m sure he has a little more in mind.
3. You haven’t met his friends.
Does he even have friends? You should be a wee bit cautious of his sneaky tactics. Do you really think it’s a coincidence that every time he invites you over, no one else is around? Either his buddies are constantly in class, at practice, or at the gym, it’s possible that he avoids introducing you or having them know your face, because you very well might not be the only girl he has over.
4. You don’t get a text…until 2am.
“Cue the cliché girl waiting by the telephone waiting for him to call”. It’s as simple as this: if he wants to talk to you, he will talk to you. If he is interested, he will want to talk to you, ask how your day was, and will make an effort to spend time with you. But remember, you do not need to be locked up like Cinderella all day and are only welcome in the late hours of the night like Edward Cullen and his family. Mom was right, nothing good happens after midnight.
5. Your phone is loaded with screenshots of his text messages:
I’m sure you and your BFF are constantly messaging each other, whether it be tagging each other in Instagram posts, sending memes, and sharing puppy videos on Facebook. Yet, if you find that the majority of your texts with each other are screenshots of you and “your guy’s” texts, then let that be an unspoken sign of advice to yourself. If you notice that you need constant reassurance and wondering what to say, I think you already know what to do.
6. Your friends talk about him… because they saw him on Tinder.
Looks like you’re dealing with a sneaky one on your hands. Has he told you that you’re the only girl he’s talking to? Has he said he’s only interested in you? Has your friend said, “Oh, isn’t this the guy you’re talking to?” and showed you her phone with your new bae’s picture on the Tinder app? Ding, ding, ding, you have a winner. You better tap out like a Muhammad Ali opponent before you get hurt.
7. Your dog doesn’t like him.
Okay, this may be the most important rule of all. Perhaps, let’s call this the Golden Rule. Dogs know everything, and I mean everything. They understand a human’s tone of voice, they know the sound of the peanut butter jar lid opening, and they absolutely can distinguish a good person from a bad person. Have you ever seen the Air Bud movies?! I really can’t make this stuff up. If Oreo, Buddy, or Spike doesn’t like your new guy, then you should be as suspicious just as your pup is.
8. You’re really not sure if he has a brain:
Are we dealing with the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz on our hands? If you ever say to yourself, “What the heck is this guy even saying right now?” you should remain alert. A red flag should go up every time he says something offensive, immature, or completely and utterly incorrect. A brainless boy combined with your knowledgeable self is no match made in heaven.
9. You’re really fond of him asking for a picture(s).
Does he frequently ask for a picture, but not of your pretty face? If so, this is unacceptable. If you’ve been dating for years, then be my guest because that sounds like a faithful relationship between two committed partners. However, if you’ve barely hung out and he’s already being pushy and expectant, then stay clear and take it as a warning.
10. Your friends don’t like him.
Okay, this should be a no-brainer. Sisters before misters, you should know that. Cat fights aren’t fun, but more often than not, your girls know best. They’re your friends for a reason; they’re looking out for you. Wouldn’t you do the same for one of them? I bet that none of your friends would want you to waste your precious time with a guy who doesn’t value you nearly as much as she does. Trust me, you’ll thank them later.
11. You’re continuously "on and off."
Please, don’t let yourself fall victim to a Ron and Sam relationship. If you find yourself in a hot and cold bond with a guy who you think walks on water, then he doesn’t walk on water. You should be in a relationship with someone who makes you happy, makes you laugh, and makes it hard to fall asleep at night because you lay in bed with a smile you can’t shake. If everyday you don’t know where you stand in your relationship, then you’re better off with ending it; you’re not a light switch.
12. You’re always waiting on him.
In high school, I got in trouble for being late to school a lot. Whether it was missing the bell by one minute or 25 minutes, it was a wake-up call for me (pun intended). In college, I realized that employers and professors aren’t going to wait around for someone who isn’t on time, or even five minutes early! This lesson counts for dates as well. If he promises plans, but doesn’t hit you up until four hours later than he said (you know who you are), then send him to the back of the line.
13. He won’t meet you halfway.
If you don’t see him getting down on one knee for you, but he expects you to get down on two for him, then you really don’t need an explanation for this one. You’re not a toy. You don’t need to be played with until he gets bored and finds a brand new toy. You’re a lady; you need to demand respect.
