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13 Ridiculous Star Wars Products You Didn't Know You Needed

I'm just kidding. Absolutely no one needs any of this. But that doesn't stop me from wanting it.

Fatema Sabir

Oct 28, 2015

University of Houston

121

13 Ridiculous Star Wars Products You Didn't Know You Needed

With the upcoming December 18th release of the newest Star Wars movie, Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens, Star Wars merchandise has been everywhere I look. I've seen Halloween costumes, house decorations,and countless clothing items. I decided to celebrate by listing some of the craziest Star Wars merch I've seen in my time. I fully support the franchise and weird things (I have a Pez collection that includes Yoda and C3PO) but some of these products are strange even for me. If you want to stand out at the premiere, forget your mundane black Star Wars shirt at home. Instead, why not bring a Han in Carbonite blanket or wear some R2-D2 Crocs? Those are just a couple of the real products that are being sold. Read on for more slightly heinous yet funny products that I really want but could never justify actually buying.

1. An R2-D2 Aquarium

Because what better place for your fish to swim in than the stomach of your favorite astromech droid?

2. Darth Vader Toaster

For those of you who love Star Wars as well as having half of your toast burnt, look no further than this toaster to give you a daily dose of the Dark Side with your morning toast.

3. Darth Dog Bowl

For Bark Vader, of course.

4. Jar Jar Binks Candy

There are few things I can think of that I would like to eat less than Jar Jar Binks' tongue...but to each his own.

5. Han in Carbonite Woven Throw

What better way to spruce up a room than Han Solo frozen in carbonite on your bed?

6. Jabba the Hutt Beanbag Chair

Because we all want to fall asleep to a warm hug from this gross, slug-like crime lord of Tattooine.

7. Yoda Gumball Dispenser

Dispense or do not dispense. There is no try.

8. Han Solo Ice Cube Tray

Too soon?

9. Death Star Ice Mold

That's no moon...it's an ice cube!

10. Yoda Magic 8 Ball

If we all had Yoda using the Force to make decisions for us, we would probably be in a much better place right now. Although I'm not sure how he feels about us turning him upside down and looking up his robes to find the answer to our problems.

11. C3PO Tape Dispenser

Why is he riding this tape dispenser like a rollercoaster? And why does he look so happy about it?

12. Light Saber Chopsticks

Because you never know if you'll suddenly need your Jedi powers while eating sushi

13. R2-D2 Crocs

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

13 Ridiculous Star Wars Products You Didn't Know You Needed

I'm just kidding. Absolutely no one needs any of this. But that doesn't stop me from wanting it.

1. An R2-D2 Aquarium

2. Darth Vader Toaster

3. Darth Dog Bowl

4. Jar Jar Binks Candy

5. Han in Carbonite Woven Throw

6. Jabba the Hutt Beanbag Chair

7. Yoda Gumball Dispenser

8. Han Solo Ice Cube Tray

9. Death Star Ice Mold

10. Yoda Magic 8 Ball

11. C3PO Tape Dispenser

12. Light Saber Chopsticks

13. R2-D2 Crocs

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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