13 Reasons Why was a great show, but as a society that is becoming more comfortable talking about suicide we should all know that it is not okay to put entire blame on other people, ESPECIALLY when those people are teens. The friends and family of the lost loved one already feel like they have done something wrong, so Hannah why did you feel it was okay to tell them their were the ones that took your life? Here are a few reasons why that is just plain wrong.
1. It's their decision.
First and foremost, we cannot be blamed when it comes to the actions of others. You might as well be mute if you want to try and say things that don't offend people.
2. You already feel guilty enough.
As a friend or family member of an individual that commits suicide, I'm sure you're already thinking you are partly to blame. So why is it anyone's place to actually tell you whether or not you were? What exactly are they trying to accomplish?
Hannah Baker, I'm talking to you. You have no right to blame some of those people in your tapes. Jessica was the reason you killed yourself because she stopped being friends with you? Right, makes sense...not.
3. How could you have possibly known?
It seems like in today's society we are held responsible for not knowing when someone is in trouble or when someone needs help, but let's all be honest here: how are we supposed to know!? Yes, we should all be decent human beings and make sure our friends are okay, but it is a huge burden to make sure someone is okay 24/7.
Hannah, you claimed everyone walked away from you when you needed help, but that's not true. You didn't confide in anyone besides Mr. Porter, so they couldn't have known everything you were thinking.
4. You are not therapist.
When a friend confides in you, it is your responsibility as a friend to make them feel safe and okay, but if you fail, it is not your fault. You are no therapist, and you were not given the skills to notice signs is danger, or to talk someone out of doing something stupid. So Hannah Baker, why is it okay to blame people that just didn't understand how to help? They weren't given the skill set to do.
5. You can make mistakes.
Everyone is allowed to make mistakes, but if the end result is a life then all of a sudden it is okay to punish young kids who didn't know any better, right? Wrong.
Let's talk about Sheri. Sheri hit a stop sign and drove away and she was somehow responsible for your suicide? Someone please explain why because I don't understand. I understand Hannah felt the like Jeff dying was their fault, which is just as well might have, but there is now way it is fair to say a stupid teen knocking down a stop sign is the cause for someone's suicide.
6. "You cannot love someone back to life."
There it's said. The partner of someone that committed suicide should never be held responsible because I promise that they are already feeling like they did the killing themselves. It is not possible to love someone so much that it just takes their pain away. Hannah was damaged from the start, and Clay confessing his love would not have changed what she did.
7. There are multiple reasons to lead up to a persons suicide.
Suicide is not plain and simple. There is not just one thing that leads to someone taking their own life; there are multiple things that contribute to a persons thinking. You are not responsible for someone taking away their own life because it's not just you, it's everything.
8. Their mind was already made up.
People often like to believe there was something they could have done in order to stop someone for committing suicide, but chances are their mind was already made up, and you shouldn't feel guilty for something you wished you could have done differently which brings me to my next point.
9. There was nothing you could have done.
If knew someone wanted to take their life I'm sure you would have reacted in some way to stop it, but even if you stop them for the current moment who's to say they won't try again later? So, don't keep thinking that you could have done something in order to stop them because if it was something they truly wanted, they will have found another way.
10. Were not responsible for the life of another human being.
Unless you are a parent, how do we expect teens and young adults to be responsible for the life of another human being. "That was my friend; I should have known." Yes it was you friend, but not your daughter. You are not responsible to carry the well being another human being.
Kids are kids for crying out loud; they should not being given that type of responsibility. What will then happen to the kids that blame themselves?
11. You can't predict the future.
People like to say "well you should have known!" Not necessarily when dealing with suicide, but just in all aspects of life. We are not fortune tellers, so no - there was not way we could have known.
12. Not everything is black and white.
This goes to say that you cannot fully understand why a person did what they did. They are no longer here to explain it to you, and that's okay. It's a grey area; it's too complicated to understand. No one should try to explain or put blame on one cause or one issue when it's just a bit more complicated than that.
13. It's their decision.
And now we come back to the beginning to say it was their decision, not yours. You did not tell them to take their life, nor did you do it with them, so why do people think it's okay to put blame on the friends and family of other people.
