On September 20th, Brandon Flynn from the hit Netflix show 13 Reasons Why publicly came out, via Instagram, stating that he’s a member of the LGBTQ+ community. His powerful post was inspired by hateful messages relating to the same-sex marriage battle in Australia. A plane flew over the city of Sydney writing “Vote No” among the clouds; the country is in a historic debate over whether or not to make same-sex marriage legal. Flynn confronts the organizers behind the message by explaining the fear that the LGBTQ+ community faces: “We’ve been scared shitless our whole lives thanks to all the stigmas around us, stigmas that were set in place by the same kind of people who flew that plane over Sydney.”

Within the post, he also addresses the hardships many of his own friends have faced when coming out by saying that they "have been kicked out of their homes, kept in the closet, beat up, killed, ridiculed by church and state, and institutionalized.” Flynn received thousands of “thank yous” and rainbow heart emojis in the comment section of his post; through his bravery and compassion, he’s giving the world a reminder that we must be ourselves even in the presence of hate.

In honor of Flynn and Australia’s resilient LGBTQ+ community, here are 13 reasons why it’s okay to come out, along with some tips:

1. Once you come out, pride becomes ten times more fun.

You can strut your way down the street without a care in the world now that you don’t have to worry about someone seeing you and asking questions. You can wear whatever you want no matter how extravagant, glittery, or “extra” it is because no one will question you now that you’ve broken down the closet door. So wear the high heels, crop top, or rainbow eyeliner because pride is your day.

2. There’s an entire community that welcomes you with open arms, no matter how you identify.

Whether it’s online or in person, this community is there for you. Sometimes putting yourself out there when you first come out is scary; you can always start by talking to people on social media websites like Tumblr (the diversity and size of the LGBTQ+ community on this site is remarkable). Don’t be afraid to shoot a quick message to someone whose posts you enjoy or identify with, you never know, they could end up becoming your best friend!

3. You can put fun pride decorations up in your living space.

Who says pride month is only in June? When you’re out you can feel comfortable leaving that pride flag, banner, or poster up 365 days a year without seeming suspicious to people in your life. It’s okay to constantly have a reminder of your pride in your living space, sometimes you need it; I have a pride flag hanging above my dorm bed which brings both color and personality to the room!

4. Your whole world opens up.

You no longer have to worry about slipping up and saying something that’ll give your identity away; you can speak freely and begin expressing yourself like never before. You can become an advocate and help improve the world for generations to come. You can go to clubs, bars, and LGBTQ+ centered events and make friends or even a love connection. You can be unapologetically yourself and have authentic connections with people without feeling like you’re hiding.

5. You feel as light as a feather afterward.

After coming out, a common phrase that I’ve heard numerous times is that the “weight is lifted off your shoulders.” From experience, I can tell you that everyone who says that is telling the truth. Leading up to when you’re going to tell someone, it feels as if the entire universe is on your shoulders; you feel heavy, nervous, and maybe even like you’re going to throw up. Anticipation is a bitch. But once you’ve said the words “I’m *insert identity and/or sexuality here,*” you feel almost as if you’re reborn. You’ve crossed the threshold, the hurdle, and you’ve conquered the mountain.

6. Always remember that this is your story, your life, and you’re in charge.

If someone tells you to “tone it down” or to stop “flaunting your sexuality,” you don’t have to listen to them. You spent too many years hiding your true self and it’s okay to be loud and proud (respectively of course). You get to choose everything relating to coming out: how/when you tell people, how many details/backstory you explain to them, and how you go about life afterward. If you want to walk around wearing a pride flag as a cape, go for it; if you don’t want to present yourself in that way, that’s perfectly valid. You can also participate in and appreciate any “cliches” (i.e. crying over Lady Gaga’s new album or being sassy as hell) within the community that you want. You choose how you express yourself and how openly you want to live.

7. You’ll always have a family.

Within this giant family of LGBTQ+ individuals, there is always a place for you. You’re never alone, it’s cliche, I know, but it’s true. Whether you watch YouTubers, read blogs, go to your local LGBTQ+ center, there is always someone who cares about you. Plus since there are so many people within this family, I guarantee there’s someone else out there who feels the way you do and is going through the exact same thing.

8. It’s okay if you just come out to one person at a time.

If you’re thinking about coming out but feel paralyzed by telling everyone close to you, start with one person, the most trustworthy person you know. That person can be your mom, best friend, cousin, teacher, next door neighbor, anyone that you’re comfortable with. I personally came out to one friend and then waited months before telling my family and other friends because that’s what I felt was right for me. This is a big milestone in your life and you deserve to take it at the pace you need.

9. It’s okay to keep it on the “down low.”

If you’re not ready to announce to the whole world that you’re gay, bisexual, non-binary, etc, that’s okay. If you come out to your best friend you have every right to tell them to keep it under wraps until you’re ready to tell more people. You’re coming out to them because you trust them so more than likely they’ll respect your wishes and be there to support you along the way.

10. Come out on your own terms.

Don’t let someone else pressure you into telling them or others, whether it’s your family or friends. Make sure you’re 100% ready and comfortable enough within yourself before telling others; after all, this is your identity.

11. You can come out however you want.

You can write a letter, text, or e-mail. You can do it over a family meal or a phone call. You can tell your parents together or separately. You can tell your friends before your parents. You can tell your friends but not your parents. It’s all up to you. Whatever you feel comfortable with is what you should do. I came out to my mom over a text message while I told my dad and aunt in person over 4th of July family lunch. I chose what worked best for me and what I felt comfortable with. You’re sharing your feelings so it should be told how you want.

12. Make sure you’re safe.

If you’re not legally an adult (over the age of 18), make sure your home environment is safe both physically and emotionally. If you need to, feel out the people you’re living with by talking about LGBTQ+ news and see how they respond to it. The last thing I or anyone else within this community wants is for your home environment to get abusive in any way; we just want you to be safe and happy. To prepare for a worse case scenario, see if you would be able to crash at friend’s house if telling your family goes downhill. Sometimes people just need time to process the information that they’re told and that’s valid. At the end of the day, your safety is most important.

13. There are resources and support everywhere.

Now that social media is an everyday part of our lives, you can use it to your advantage. There’s a large LGBTQ+ community on YouTube which you can learn from while feeling comforted by individuals who identify like you. Tumblr, as I mentioned before, is a big site; you can talk to people who identify all over the spectrum of the community. Outside of the online world, you can find Gay-Straight Alliances at high schools around the country. Pride unions at colleges. LGBTQ+ centers within cities that offer resources and social activities. The Human Rights Campaign and GLAD are two large advocacy organizations that work to make a better world for the community and future generations; their websites contain legal resources and news articles to keep you up to date on the fight for equality.

I hope that these 13 reasons and tips can help comfort you through coming out. It’s a scary thing to do, I’ve been through it myself, but it’s so worth it. As a community, we’re here for you and we love you. Don’t be scared to reach out for advice and help; I’ve included some resources if you wish to further your reading on the topic. Always remember that you are an asset to this world and you are loved more than you can imagine.

Here are some essential Coming Out resources:

http://lgbt.foundation/information-advice/coming-out-support/

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/section/YOU

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/11/coming-out-resources_n_4085658.html

http://www.thegenderbook.com/coming-out-resources/4581632123