If you are wondering why you are still single and cannot seem to find love anywhere, it is solely because you are looking in all the wrong places. Sure, a supermodel or a millionaire might seem like a catch, but there is nothing that compares to the charm of a Browns fan. Here are 13 reasons that you book a flight to Cleveland, and embark on your journey of finding the perfect significant other: the Browns fan.
1. We know how to appreciate the little things.
Even if we barely pull off a win against Jacksonville, you better believe we will be the happiest people alive for the next six days. Do not be alarmed if we kiss you for letting us borrow your pencil, we have a huge appreciation for the small things.
2. We have fairly low expectations.
We can always hope for the best, but in the back of our minds all we really care about is that you are not a Steelers fan.
3. We can pull off looking good in brown and orange.
What is possibly the ugliest color combination of all time, still manages to look good on us. I guess we really are just that attractive.
4. We never lose hope, even when we should.
Your track record may be a complete disaster, but due to our Browns influenced mentality, we will not give up on you.
5. We will not let a bad day ruin our mood.
Almost every Sunday is a bad day for us, but we never let it get to us. You will never have to worry about having to cheer us up.
6. We tolerate Johnny Manziel as quarterback so you have a good shot as a significant other.
As long as you do not mount an inflatable swan with a bottle of champagne in hand, we have nothing to worry about.
7. We have already experienced the worst loss possible when our entire team jumped ship to the Baltimore, and then won a Super Bowl.
Your mistakes will always be secondary. There are some things we will never forgive, but your mistakes do not apply.
8. We are used to people turning out worse than expected.
From Tim Couch and Charlie Frye to Brady Quinn, we know that not everyone delivers like we hoped they would. It is likely that if you end up being a total dud, we will probably get over it quickly.
9. We reserve most of our tears for Sundays, so you probably will not see us cry during the week.
I suggest that you schedule some time with your friends on game day, unless you want to be soaked in our tears.
10. We can probably score you some pretty cheap NFL tickets by the end of the year.
Once everyone realizes that we are entering yet another year of missed playoff opportunity, the stadium starts to dwindle meaning that if your favorite team is coming to Cleveland, I can hook you up.
11. You will never have to worry about us cheating on you.
If we can stay loyal to the Browns, we can certainly stay loyal to you.
12. Patience is our middle name.
I mean we have not made the playoffs in 13 years, and we are willing to wait as long as it takes.
13. Most of all, we will love you unconditionally, even if you continue to disappoint us year after year.
The best thing about Browns fans is that we are believers. We will stand behind you through thick and thin, and love you through it all.
