1. Whoa, do you smoke weed?
All the time. On the street. In the workplace. Everywhere. All the time.
2. So, how long have you been skiing?
Well, obviously, I used to ski to school. Everyday. While I smoked weed.
3. Wait…so is it like…cold there right now?
Well, it’s mid-August, so yes. It’s actually antarctic year round, despite our geographical position in the country.
(I actually got asked this question once)
4. Do you know where Boulder is?
What? I’ve NEVER heard of that! Ohhhhh, you mean that town from the Chainsmokers song? Uhhh it’s like….in the mountains?
5. You must drink a lot of beer, right?
That’s actually all I drink.
6. Does it blizzard all winter?
Oh yeah, it hits November 1st and the weather drops from 55 to 32 immediately and Mother Nature just violently throws powder within the state lines until mid-February.
7. Are there dispensaries on like every corner?
Actually, we don’t even need dispensaries because they started selling it at Starbucks.
8. Oh, I think someone from my high school went to CSU…do you know where that is?
Never heard of it.
9. Is everyone in Colorado a hippie?
Yes, if you’ll notice, I’m currently wearing a hemp shirt and I haven’t washed my hair since last October.
10. So..back to weed…does everyone there smoke?
Yeah, I think playschool just came out with a teething ring for babies infused with cannabis.
11. Have you been to Red Rocks?
Wait, I thought that was in Utah?
12. What do you mean you’re cold? Aren’t you from Colorado?
Shoot, I forgot that I literally don’t have the ability to feel cold. My b.