Ahhhh… August has arrived once again, and you are on your way to the doctor’s office for your yearly physical before school starts. Before the visit, you have everything you’re going to say to your doctor planned out in your head. You have the answer to every question he/she is going to ask you and you are not afraid to express any pain you might be experiencing…. Until you actually get to the office and your plan goes out the window, along with your ability to speak once you go to sign in. But that is what moms are for! Here are 13 things that happen at the doctor’s office:
1. On the way to the doctor’s office, you keep rehearsing how the visit is going to go in your head.
While driving to the office, your confidence keeps rising because you are prepared to act like an adult in front of your doctor. But of course your mom is driving.
2. You walk into the office and your confidence plummets down to nothing once you have to sign yourself in.
Let’s be realistic.. Mom is the one who has to sign you in because your hand is shaking too much to hold a pen.
3. You sit down next to other patients in a crowded waiting room and anxiously wait for the nurse to call you in.
Whether they are sick or waiting for a checkup, sitting in a crowded waiting room next to other people is not pleasant because you need to stay calm to prepare for what is behind the front desk. Needles, tests, scales.. Ya know, the scary stuff.
4. Your name is called and the nurse weighs you, does your eye test and then asks you for a urine sample.
The nurse has no problem announcing your weight to the entire office and continues on to ask for a cup of your pee after asking you to cover each of your eyes while reading irrelevant letters a certain distance away.
5. You walk into the exam room, and you're asked how you are feeling.
The nurse proceeds to check your blood pressure and you hope that all the McDonald’s runs you’ve made over the last couple of weeks don’t affect your numbers too much.
6. The nurse then gives you a white gown to put on and then you sit and wait for the doctor.
The crinkly, sheer gown is more uncomfortable than it was last year.
7. You’re still sitting and waiting for the doctor, and you’re having a panic attack thinking about any shots you may need.
Well, at least that is what I do.
8. The doctor knocks on the door and he/she starts making conversation about life.
Can we just get started with the medical stuff? Like I think I have prepared myself well enough for the next 10 minutes.
9. The doctor checks your breathing, ears, eyes, throat, lymph nodes, stomach, etc. and then proceeds to ask if anything hurts.
Just tell me if I need a shot already doc.
10. The doctor then tells you anything abnormal regarding your urine sample and/or weight.
I may be a little chunky but I do eat a salad every once in awhile.
11. The words, “You’re going to need a vaccination today.” come out of the doctor’s mouth and the panic attack continues.
Only this time, the bawling and tears won’t stop.
12. *Some time later* You finally get the shot you needed and you feel like a champ with a sore arm.
I think everyone who gets a shot deserves a lollipop, no matter your age.
13. You have made it through yet another yearly physical and you treat yourself to lunch and shopping.
*Eats a whole bunch and buys a new outfit*
Now these are some of the things that happen during my yearly physical and no, I don’t do well with needles.
