Working in a restaurant is hard. Not because the duties of the job are challenging, but because it never fails that customers love to make your job so damn difficult. As a host, you are the first person that a customer encounters when they enter your restaurant. And while servers definitely put up with a customer's pettiness much longer than the host does, it doesn't mean that the customer isn't afraid to give the host a little bit of hell. Here is a list of the 13 things that restaurant hosts find the most annoying about their customers and servers.
1. When people don't speak to you.
It never fails that after I give my fake peppy greeting, customers will stare at you just like this and hold up the number of fingers of their party. Are you okay? Are you about to have a stroke? If not, at least have the decency to tell me that you have a party of two with your words.
2. When people seat themselves.
Um, excuse me? Yup, that's me standing here who you completely ignored and sat yourself. Although I'm gorgeous, they don't pay me to stand here and look pretty. So get up and I'll seat you at a table in a zone that actually has a present server.
3. "Can we get a booth?"
It is the five dreaded words every host cringes when they hear them. We hear at least a hundred times a day. WHY DO Y'ALL LIKE BOOTHS SO MUCH? I have 60 tables and only 30 of them are booths. No. The answer is no. You're only going to be here for an hour at the most so sit where I goddamn seat you!
4. When people ask to move seats
"Can we move to that booth over there?" Sure Goldilocks, let me take you on an entire tour of the freaking restaurant until you find the table that is just right for you. Sit down and shut up.
5. When people get mad at you over the wait times
"What do you mean there's a wait?!" Look! Look at all of these people who decided to come here to eat tonight! He's on wait, she's on a wait, so can I get your name so I can put you on my wait list?
6. When people assume I'm the manager
7. When people tell you where they want to sit
"Can we have a booth by the window?" cAn wE hAvE A bOoTh bY tHe wInDoW? No. All of our booths are on the inner isles. Sorry about your luck.
8. When people sit forever at tables
You've been sitting at your table for two and half hours even though your bill is already paid for. Meanwhile, I have a ton of people waiting for you to leave so I can seat them. GO HOME!
9. Horrible people in general
The worst kind of people. The woman who had a bad day at her job and takes it out on you. Or the guy who is just a flat out horrible, miserable person. Your life sucks, I get it. But it's not my problem so don't put me down to make yourself feel better.
10. When servers don't clean their tables
Servers get busy, I totally understand. And not all restaurants have bussers, therefore hosts and servers are responsible for cleaning tables. When we're at our peak rush of the night, I understand that a server may not have time to bus their tables, keep up with their guests, and run food. But if we are completely dead and your only two tables are eating their food, CLEAN YOUR TABLES.
11. When people don't answer their pagers/ phones when their table is ready
We give you pager or ask for your cell phone number for a reason. It makes all of our lives easier if I just push a button to notify you when your table is ready. But no, now I have to hunt you, Mr. Oblivious, and scream your name inside and outside the restaurant like a freaking lunatic. You made me do this.
12. When parties ask to split up
"Can we have our kids sit at this table and we'll sit over here?" Do you really hate being around your kids so much that you're requesting different tables? Sit together or call a babysitter if you want to go out to eat without your kids.
13. When a gigantic party comes in without calling ahead
You and thirty other people decided to all get together and eat here tonight and you think you can just stroll on in? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! I don't even know thirty people let alone can get them all to go to the same damn restaurant. Cook! Cater! Or at least CALL AHEAD!