No, You Can't Touch Your Waiter

No, You Can't Touch Your Waiter

Restaurant rules for adults.
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Working in the service industry is something that I believe every human being should have to do at some point in their lives. Everyone deals with the service industry and interacts with the people employed within it. When we were little our parents sat us down and told us how to behave in a restaurant before they braved the outside world with our strollers in hand. I've found that as adults, the human race needs a major refresher course.

1. You cannot touch your server
under no circumstances is it okay to touch a restaurant industry employee. Would you grab the arm of your mechanic and pull them back towards you to say "where's the bathroom?" then don't do it to your server either. I have seen men and women in the restaurant industry sexually harassed by customers far too many times. Just because they are providing you a service does not mean that you are free to put your hands on this stranger you just met thirty seconds ago.

2. Do not scream in the restaurant
just like when you were little, you're still not allowed to scream in a restaurant. I get it, at a bar there are tons of people and it can be a loud environment, but please do not scream your servers’ name, or more frequently "miss" or "sir," from across the building. And when your server introduces themselves, please don't interrupt. Just let them get their kind greeting out. The time for "hello my name is-" "water with lemon," is never.

3. Don't flag your server down unless it is super important
servers have a million and one things they are trying to remember on their walk from table to computer. Please, unless it is of the upmost importance, try not to pull them aside when you see them busting it from one side of the restaurant to the other. The second you break their stream of consciousness, they just forgot three drink orders, two sides of ranch and a check that they had to print. All so that they could grab you ketchup right this second.

4. Communicate with your server
restaurant employees cannot please you if you don't speak up. If you don't like your meal, let your server know so that they can get you something else. You're not going to have to pay for it if you didn't eat it. If you feel that you've been waiting too long, politely let the hostess know, or ask to speak to a manager. 99 percent of the time, you'll get free appetizers sent to your table as a thank you for your kindness and patience. Employees can't help you and fix mistakes unless you let them know about it. Don't just go home and write a nasty yelp review because you couldn't use your words face to face.

5. The wait list is real, slipping the host a $10 won't help you
it will most certainly help them, but there are no hidden tables in the back. It's not like in the movies. If a restaurant is on a wait, it's because there are no available tables. If you see tables open, it's because there are reservations. The host can't seat you there when in the next thirty minutes a reservation for that table is going to come in, so don't go up to them saying "what about that table right there?" it. Is. Reserved. The restaurant is not trying to screw you over and make you wait. If there is a wait, there are no tables available.

6. Hosts cannot predict the future

calling in and asking, "Do you think it'll be busy around 6:30?" is the most frustrating thing that you can do. Yes, the host/hostess works there. This does not mean that he or she can predict what the people within an hour radius of them are going to want to do for dinner. There is also a google feature that helps you with this, and can give you real answers based on data. If you google your question, a little graph pops up that tells you the average times the restaurant you're asking about will be busy. Don't be angry when the host gives you a vague answer. How could they possibly know? And if you seat yourself, they cannot read your mind. When you're angry because no one has brought you menus and a server has not greeted you yet, remember that you didn't even let anyone know you were in the building.

7. Don't play dumb
there have been far too many times that restaurant policies have been made clear to a guest prior to their arrival, and when the time comes they choose to ignore it and act like they were never told about it. If the restaurant does not do separate checks for parties of ten or more, then they just don't. If you don't like that policy so much that you're going to cause a scene at the restaurant when the time comes to pay your bill, then you should have chosen to go elsewhere when you were made aware of it in the first place. Restaurants have policies for a reason, and that reason is to make sure that the night runs smoothly for both you and their employees. Please respect them.

8. Do not hit on your server
this is by far the most inappropriate thing I have ever seen that is so strikingly common in the restaurant industry. Your server does not keep coming back to your table and checking on you because they are romantically interested in you. They are doing it because it is their job. To trap someone who is in a situation where part of their job description is to be kind to you and serve you is disgusting. Their job is to be nice to you. Don't ever put your server, host, cashier in this position. It is the most demeaning and uncomfortable thing to deal with. They are at work. If you wouldn't act that way in your own work place, what makes you think that you can act that way in theirs?

9. If you don't have $ to tip, you don't have the $ to go out
it's as simple as that. Tipping is part of going out to eat. Servers make $2.83 an hour. When you take out taxes, that's a whopping $0.00 paycheck. If you do not have the money to tip your server, then you do not have the money to go out for the night. Period.

10. If you have a great time, let the restaurant know
if you had a great time, let someone at the restaurant know so that they can relay it to your sever. Nothing makes a 14 hour day doubling, running inside and outside, not eating for eight straight hours and being covered in grease even the least bit bearable apart from hearing that you're doing a great job. If you leave a server a note on your receipt, I guarantee you they'll be talking about how sweet it was for the rest of the week. If you start to become a regular and you're kind, you tip well, you develop a rapport with your sever, you become a beacon of light to them. Little feels better on those long days with table after table that doesn't follow any of these rules, then to see the face of a regular who knows the drill.

If anyone has any additions to this list please feel free to share/reblog with the remainder of the list, because I’m sure that it could go on forever. Or if you disagree, that's even more interesting. Let me and the rest of the industry know. And next time you go out, please remember these rules. This will make your dining experience so much more pleasant for you and for the restaurant employees. Nothing is more important to restaurant workers than you having a good experience. Don't use that as an excuse to treat them like garbage. Have the same respect for them as they have for you.

Cover Image Credit: Serverlife

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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All Good Things Are Wild And Free, Right?

Free your soul and be happy.
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The word 'free' can allude to many things. My mom always says that nothing is ever free. But what about your soul? Is it free? Does everyone have a free soul? I think that everyone has the potential to have a free soul but whether or not they decide to live that lifestyle is up to them.

Until recently, I never thought of myself as a free spirit, but I am. Although I didn’t begin with a free soul, I evolved into one. Life throws you trials and tribulations and it's meant for you to grow from these obstacles. And I have.

People always question me about my careless attitude. Careless meaning that I don’t care what others think. I never actually answer the question, but here’s the answer: once you figure out that you can’t make everyone happy by the decisions you make and start doing the things that make you happy is when you become free from others.

The phrase “damned if you, damned if you don’t” applies here perfectly. People will find something wrong with you and your life decisions no matter what you decide. There’s no way to make everyone happy, it's just not possible.

I don’t wake up in the mornings to please anyone but myself. To have a free soul you must do the things that make you and you alone happy.

Free souls are happy souls. Finding inner happiness takes time. It takes being at rock bottom to find your own happiness. Being happy within means that you don’t have to rely on anyone to be happy, and that’s how it should be.

When you give other people the privilege of holding the key to your happiness chances are they’ll fail you. Other people can contribute to your overall happiness but always remember who you are and put your happiness first because if you’re not happy with yourself then how do you expect to keep someone else happy?

Do you, boo. It’s so cheesy, I know, but it’s how to keep you and your soul free from others control. Live your life and live it like there’s no tomorrow. Don’t live your days full of worry, regret, and unhappiness. Do the things that are necessary for you to be happy, who cares what other people think. If you’re unhappy and they’re happy, how is this benefitting you? It’s not.

Be selfish. Be selfish with your happiness and your freedom.

You don’t owe anything to anyone. Once you figure out that your own happiness should come first that’s when you begin to be free. And just a hint, the people that you’re trying so hard to please and make happy, don’t care about your happiness. So why should you care about theirs?

If you want to be free, then do you. Do the things that make you happy, stop caring about what others think. Find that inner happiness that is guaranteed every day, because it’s your own.

Cover Image Credit: Kallee Gambrel

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