Every 4 years, actors tear their eyes away from Netflix for two weeks and pretend to care about sports. Now that the 2016 Summer Olympic Games in Rio have come to a close, it is time to reflect on the highlights from a non-athletic perspective.

1.) As you watch the opening ceremony: "Why is there no Shakespeare this year?"

Friend: Shakespeare was included in the opening ceremony last time only because the Olympics were held in London. And Danny Boyle directed it.

You: Ahhh okay. I have only one question then.

Friend: What?

You: Where is Kenneth Branagh?

2.) "I would not want to be at a dance call with Simone Biles."

She is fierce. Welp, I'm removing 'acro' from 'special skills' on my résumé, effective immediately...

3.) "Ryan Lochte is officially the Shia LaBeouf of swimming."

Let's face it: ever since this guy starred in a reality TV show called "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?", we've always had a sneaking suspicion about him. But now, we know exactly what Ryan Lochte would do: drunkenly tear apart a gas station bathroom, then try to cover it up by lying to Rio police that he was held up at gunpoint. Both he and Shia LaBeouf publicly embarrassed themselves attracting a ton of negative press. Fun fact: they are both over 30!

4.) "Katie Ledecky is the Kelli O’Hara of swimming."

It was thrilling to watch Katie Ledecky break her own record in the 800m Freestyle (which happens to also be the world record). She makes other swimmers look like they’re competing in a middle school meet. But then you remember that they too qualified for the Olympics…I just feel like Kelli O’Hara does this with theatre. The colleagues of these talented women are awesome too, but these ladies make it look easy. With a gold medal and Tony award, they've both shown us that hard work in any discipline pays off!

5.) On that time when Chad le Clos tried to psych out Michael Phelps before the race...

Every actor is familiar with this behavior. There's always someone who tries to distract others at an audition and the result is always the same: the person who remains focused (and keeps their headphones on) succeeds. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate Phelps' death stare reaction? Yikes.

6.) "Would Allyson Felix be interested in being my personal trainer?"

This woman is incredible: her stride is a series of effortless leaps. She is in amazing shape and could easily do a 2-show day if acting was her "sport of choice"...but I think it's safe to say she picked the right career.

7.) "Why isn't musical theatre an Olympic event?"

C'mon, we sweat just as much on stage as any Olympic athlete! Perhaps M.T. should be a winter sport? Curling is a winter sport, so the guidelines for winter must be tad more lenient. What, curling is going to pass as a sport, but dancing, singing and smiling at the same time is not? Make it happen, Olympic committee! The U.S. is trained and ready!

8.) "How do runners' bodies not even jiggle when replayed in slow motion?!"

Actors are often filmed from unflattering angles. So when we watch races played back in super slow motion, which would be horribly unflattering for literally anyone in the universe other than these iron-bodied athletes, we get a little envious. These sinewy Olympians sport muscles and tendons we didn't even know existed! Is that a 9-pack?

9.) "Gwen Jorgensen running that triathlon was like Laura Benanti in Gypsy." (Hear me out on this one…)

Jorgensen starts out the race at her own pace and hung in the background for the swimming and biking legs of the race. Then, just before the transition into running (which is her thing) she's suddenly in the lead! This is like when Laura Benanti played Louise in Gypsy. She pretended she was untalented for the whole first act and then bam: in the second act she can sing, dance, and shout really angrily at Patti LuPone. In both instances, the way these ladies played the first act was what made the second act all the sweeter.

10.) "I wonder what Michael Phelps’ motivation is…"

Friend: To win more gold medals...

You: Well, obviously yes, that is the outer goal. But what is his inner goal? To please his father? To prove to his childhood bullies that he’s not nothing?

Friend: Or...maybe he’s the fastest swimmer in the world and wants a gold medal to prove it.

You: You're not reading between the lines here, Dave!

11.) Ryan Lochte’s dyed white hair reminds me of high school actors who play the elderly characters.

I was waiting for him to show up in the pool with poorly drawn on laugh lines and intensely dark forehead wrinkles.

12.) The Russian diver who got a zero is all of us.

Actors really feel for this poor woman. Live performances go wrong sometimes. Our voices crack, our costumes rip, we fall out of a turn or blank on our lines. Both sports and theatre are live events; mistakes are bound to happen. We cannot be afraid to fall on our faces (or in Nadhezda Bazhina's case, our backs. Too soon?) The element of not knowing what's going to happen is what makes it so exciting for the audience!