With the holidays soon approaching, it is custom to begin the gift buying process. Or, in some of our cases, the "gift-begging" process. Either way, being at this university has a lot of influence on the gifts we give and receive. UK spirit wear seems to be a big one. Coats, sweatshirts, scarves, gloves, hats, and pants. You name it, Kennedy's has got it. And while I do love Kentucky Blue with a passion that is immeasurable, I like my gloves to be leather coated and insulated with fur. Never will we ever become tired of representing our old Kentucky home, but here's a list of a few things UK students really want for Christmas.
1. Free Parking
Okay. If Google can afford to give their vehicle-less employees cars, UK can afford us not paying for a lot that isn't even close to campus. *cough * K-Lot. Plus, there is new zoning proposal that would increase close parking spot prices by upwards of 125%. Nothing would be sweeter from Santa than the chance to start each semester with a little extra moolah in our pockets.
2. No Construction
I don't know when the new Student Center and resident housing buildings got scheduled to finish. But I do know that if one day we magically woke up and both were completed, no one would complain. We might not even wake up, what with the noise being gone and all.
3. A Speedy Taco Bell Line
How many of us have stood in line waiting for decades, when all we came for was a Baja Blast and a dollar taco? Campus Taco Bell is taking some major L's this year. Deliver us some speedy workers, Mr. Claus!
4. The Old Ovid's Back (pronounced Ah-vid's )
As a freshman, I never got the opportunity to dine at the Ovid's that used to be inside of Willy T. But I've been told, time and time again, how awesome it was. Apparently there were a lot more food choices. And a SANDWICH bar! What?! How could
5. Beat Louisville
As we all know, our basketball boys play Louisville the day after Christmas. Now, I'm not saying we'll lose, but with the recent upset by UCLA it's not unfathomable to be a little nervous. It would truly be a Christmas miracle if U of L beat us, but let's just say it would be the best gift ever to destroy them by a 20 pt margin.
My prediction: 89-53 UK.
6. Meal Swipes at Starbucks
We love our coffee. With chocolate syrup, caramel crunch flakes, and whip cream on top. Oh, what a joyous gift it would be to get a meal plan choice at Starbucks. "Grande Vanilla Bean Frappuccino and a croissant? Is that a meal plan?" Yes. Yes, it is. What beautiful words to utter.
7. Unlimited Flex Dollars
Swipes. Everywhere. That's all.
8. A Winning Football Team
I'm not hating on our team. We have a lot of great players and an inspiring coach. Also, SEC isn't that easiest conference to excel in.Our football team has
9. Midnight Pancakes 24/7
CSF does the student body right every Friday at midnight. But could you imagine? Midnight pancakes... every night. They need to take this tradition to the next level.
10. Fall Break
We are the only school in the state that doesn't get off a few days for fall break. Honestly, it is not that bad for students that live nearby. Any weekend is an opportunity to drive home. But everyone thinks we're super weird for it. It's kind of like being that one kid who's mom always packs a soggy tuna sandwich for lunch when everyone else gets bomb Lunchables. Totally unfair.
11. Season Basketball Tickets
It pays to win. No one knows this better than UK basketball fans. When you've got famous people that aren't alumni getting hype to see your team play, it makes sense to hike up ticket prices. But why, if I'm paying $20,000 to attend this university, do I have to put my name in a lottery? And being in the lottery doesn't guarantee to get to buy a ticket. It may be a gross abuse of my first world situation to complain about basketball tickets, but I put my foot down. Santa we need them!
12. Passing Grades
It's a cliche want, yet the most important. It would be nice if there was a spell to transform our difficult professor's into Oprah's of finals weeks. You get an A, you get an A... EVERYBODY GETS AN A!!
Hope you've been nice and not naughty this year Wildcats. Happy Holidays!
