12 Things Strong, Independent Women DON'T Do

12 Things Strong, Independent Women DON'T Do

The word "settle" is not part of their vocabulary.

We all secretly wanna be that "strong, independent woman who don't need no man." Of course, if he did come along, then we certainly wouldn't mind. I am a firm believer in the fact that we must learn to enjoy spending time alone first with ourselves before sharing our precious time with that special someone. In order to do that, you must be that girl who wakes up with purpose and intent. Be that girl who keeps not settling. You are worth more than second thoughts and maybes. You've got such a good soul that you'd never be caught dead doing any of the things on this list.

1. Wait for him to text you first.

Waiting for anything is absolute torture. I've always been taught that if you want something, you're gonna have to go out there and get it for yourself. I'm not saying that you should go after someone who isn't worth your time. If you genuinely like him and the feeling's mutual, then text him, damn it.

2. Hit up a guy who already has a girlfriend.

This is the lowest of the lows. I don't care if he's cheated on her, or they are a "terrible couple." Whatever excuse you have in your head, just let it go. Don't ever get in the middle of someone else's relationship, no matter the circumstances.

3. Lie about your interests.

If you’re saying, “Oh, I totally love EDM music too, we have so much in common!” But it actually gives you a headache, then for God’s sake, don’t lie about it or else you might find yourself sitting through some very painful car rides. Lying ain’t cool, the only way you are going to win him over is by staying true to who you really are. If you secretly blast Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” while you’re getting ready in the morning, then be sure he knows it...just maybe wait ‘til the second date.

4. Hide your quirks.

This one is kinda similar to the above, but rather being afraid to show the ‘real you’ because you don’t want to scare him away. You'd be surprised: your quirks just may be the thing that set you apart from everyone else so quit keeping them to yourself.

5. Settle just because you want a relationship.

Repeat after me: you’re not the kind of girl who settles. Keep not settling. Learn to be happy on your own, it’s the only way you’ll attract something amazing.

6. Hesitate to call him out on his shit.

Girl, if he does something that’s completely uncalled for, make sure you let him know. Otherwise, he’ll just keep doing it.

7. Not have your own ‘thing.’

When I say ‘thing,’ I mean something that you truly enjoy doing. I’m not saying you have to go in full ‘Girl Boss’ mode and start your own business but have something that makes you feel good about yourself. Whether it be going to yoga once a week or volunteering for a local organization on the weekends, it’s important to think about what you are putting your energy into. Plus, it’ll give you something to talk about and your inner light will shine even brighter.

8. Feel like you owe him something.

You don’t owe any man anything, ladies. If a guy is ever making you feel like you should do something that you aren’t comfortable with, then it’s time to drop him.

9. Let jealousy over other people’s accomplishments suffocate you.

As lonely as you may feel scrolling through your Facebook feed and seeing yet another girl from your high school’s engagement photos, you should never wish terrible things upon this couple. Getting jealous is completely normal, but letting it get to you to the point where you start to feel sorry for yourself is not ok.

10. Go home and cry after your date stood you up.

Nope, nope, nope. You should be going home and taking a bubble bath and ordering Chinese takeout and squinting at that text he sends you at 1 AM when you’re three seasons deep into Grey’s Anatomy. Who in the world is texting me right now? And then you remember it’s him, flip your phone over and continue watching.

Getting stood up sucks, but if you think about it, it’s kind of a dating short-cut. If you stood me up and didn’t take any action afterward to make it up to me, then I’ve got my answer. Onto the next one.

11. Overanalyze ‘hints’ on social media.

He liked my Insta pic so he likes me, right? I dunno, maybe he liked that you were doing something cool. Who really knows.

12. Have too many unrealistic expectations.

A woman should have high standards, but not high expectations. Let yourself have no expectations whatsoever going into a first date and you will come out of it feeling good, even if you see no future with the guy. Before the date, if you had pictured this guy in your head and given him all of your dream qualities, only to realize that he was the complete opposite, then you’ll feel more disappointed, won’t you?

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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4 Signs You Are NOT Ready To Be In A Relationship

Being single isn't the end of the world, and if you think it is maybe you should re-check your priorities.


Most people dream of finding the one. Spending months to years getting to know them, to settle down, have a life that they are comfortable with, with the person they share a deep connection. But if you are in your late teens or early twenties still in college wishing for this to happen to you, maybe you should look around and really take into consideration if you are ready for a relationship.

1.  All you can think about is having a significant other 

Now it's not bad if every now and then you take some time to really debate what you want in a partner and what your standards are. There is nothing wrong with looking around and seeing what you want and don't want in a partner, but if it constantly taking up space in your mind, you might need to take a step back and focus on other things.

 2. Your phone is full of dating apps 

Some people use these web tools to search and find people just looking for fun. But if you have multiple apps and you still are single it might be time to delete them and pour all the energy and attention to yourself and your hobbies. Dating apps aren't a bad thing if you make clear what you are looking for, but if it comes down to the fact that you are paying for extra swipes, maybe save that money and go spend it on a coffee.

3. You think about your ex...a lot 

Getting closure is a vital part of life. An ex is someone who will always have an impact on your life even if is in the way of choosing a type of food over another, or new music on your travel playlist. But if you are still pondering the breakup, or writing poetry, or crying casually over them a few times a month, you are far from closure.

4. You don’t love yourself 100%

If you are looking for someone to complete you, you might want to look in the mirror because that is the only person who can make you happy. The only person who can make you the person you dream of being one day is the one that you try to tune out, the one who you blame for being single, the one who you are desperately trying to find love for. If you don't love yourself then you won't find love anywhere else.

Loving yourself is something that should come naturally and loving someone else should too. But until you have a complete vision of what your values are no one can walk into your life and find them for you.

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