Any person who's fallen under the spell of a massive furry fiend understands that once you're hooked, there's a whole lifestyle change from the one that they previously lived. Your life becomes enveloped with all things dog-related, from the trails of water and muddy paw prints that wind around the house to the early mornings that start with a giant paw to the face. Here's a few of the things that all big dog lover's know well.
1. The dog hair.
Everywhere. In your shoes, your glove compartment, on the couch, the back of your car, in your socks. It magically turns up in the most random places, and it doesn't even phase you. The beauty of lint rollers wasn't discovered until your furry friend entered your life, and man you're grateful for them.
2. The slobber.
It's an unfortunate part of the dog life. Whether it's drooling over a treat or human food or the puddles of water that surround the water bowl, you're doomed to end up with a soggy sock at some point.
3. That cookie or sandwich you leave on the counter will disappear.
You've become an expert at hiding food on the highest of shelves that even you can't reach. Their long legs and giant paws are useful, especially when they want the raw steak that's marinating on the kitchen table. We've all learned the hard way that pretty much whatever isn't nailed down will be eaten...
4. ...Including your socks and sneakers.
The amount of times I've had to throw out a pair of my favorite sandals or sneakers because SOMEONE decided that they needed an extra snack. I have a drawer filled with unmatched socks, their partners eaten.
5. The dog farts.
Big dogs have the power of clearing an entire room with just one fart. I don't know what makes their gas so much more volatile, but it's dangerous.
6. The barks and sheer size of your dog scares the crap out of most people...
7. But all they want is to give everyone love.
The booming bark and enormity of your dog intimidates many, but it only takes a few minutes for everyone to realize they're just giant sacks of goofy love and happiness.
8. Their "lap dog" aspirations.
The bigger they are, the smaller they wish they were. Their hugs can take anyone out. It's like all large dogs are unaware of their size. My dog is 95 pounds, and still insists on sitting on top of me when he wants attention. Your lungs may be crushed, but they're comfy and happy and that's all that matters.
9. Sharing a bed, or a couch, is pretty close to impossible, but you make it work.
Again, with the lap dog mentality. They want to curl up and be with you and your family, but an entire half of the couch is taken up by their gangly limbs and tail. You've learned to all squish and fit your pup on the couch.
10. Bath time is dangerous and you will most likely be drenched by the end of it.
Whether your dog loves or despises the water, staying still is much easier said than done for these knuckleheads. You might as well take a bath with them, because you'll look like you did anyways by the end of it.
11. You treat them like a human, and everyone is completely unfazed by it.
You talk to them like they'll actually answer, and it's because they're the best listeners in the world. Who needs human friends?
12. You consider them your best friend, and miss them ridiculously when you're apart for more than a few hours.
You never realized how much you needed your furry best friend in your life, until you spent a few days without them. No matter how angry the muddy paw prints, the stolen shoes and pizza makes you, you can't imagine your life without them. You'd take their trails of hair and whipping tails any day. They are family, and love you loyally and unconditionally.
There's never a dull moment when you live with a giant, furry goober, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
