"1 in 5 adults in America suffer from a mental illness," according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness
Dating in college is when things become real. During this time each person is beginning to build their future as an individual and every serious relationship has the potential to end in a forever partner.
With any new relationship comes a number of stressors that each person may face in both the beginning, as well as the long term— but what if your partner has a mental illness? The whole game changes. With the normal issues that often arise in a relationship along with the “burden” of a mental illness, it is no wonder that many find the idea of being with someone as such very difficult. However, it is important to remember that regardless of someone’s mental health, a successful and wonderful relationship can still be had.
I can’t promise that there won’t be difficulties that a couple in “perfect” mental health will never face but I can promise that it is worth it to love someone with a mental illness because in turn they will love you even more for it.
Don’t let the threat of a more complicated relationship scare you away from the potential for something beautiful.
1. We need your support
First and foremost, in everything that happens in our lives we need your full support, whether that be going to doctors appointments, listening to us or just letting us know that no matter what, you are always there for us.
2. Sometimes we may want to be left alone
Don’t abandon us however. If we say we want to be left alone, just give us our space. Something could be overwhelming and we just need a second to breathe. This probably has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personally, which takes me to my next point.
3. Don’t take it personally
We may get upset over the little things or have an anxiety attack linked to something you may have done or said but, don’t take it as personal. Some things are triggers for us and often have nothing to do with the person who triggered them. Take a step back and support us without making the situation about you.
4. We may say things we don’t mean
These things may often be something that we will immediately regret, but felt the need to share at that exact moment. We probably aren’t trying to hurt your feelings but it may be a result. In the end, we will (usually) apologize for our words over and over because our end goal was never to upset you.
5. We have so much love to give
Dealing with a mental illness often takes a tole on who we are as a person. This often results in us feeling as though others do not give us the ample amount of love that we need. This also often results on us giving all of our love to others. I promise you though, if you love us, the feeling will always be reciprocated ten times over.
6. We want to see you happy
And when we feel as though we are making you unhappy, it kills us inside. Having a mental illness can sometimes feel like we are a bomb ready to explode at any given moment. Knowing that we are making you happy is a huge relief and allows us to calm down.
7. We may push you away
This is another thing not to take personally, and sometimes, seriously. Something deeper could be bothering us, and again, it probably has nothing to do with you. We often push you away as to not involve you with our mental entanglement, but it does not mean that we want you to back away.
8. We need a little extra TLC
Tender loving care that is. Dating someone with a mental illness for sure is a little more challenging than dating someone without, however, if you give us a little extra love and care, we are more likely going to stay positive and healthy because of the relief of a would-be added stressor.
9. We may act “crazy”
I hate using that term towards someone who has a mental illness, but we need to be real with ourselves-- sometimes we do “lose it” and may need a reality check. If we are acting out of the ordinary you may need to try and get to the bottom of it. But this quirk can be to your benefit because it allows you to see every side of us; the beautiful and the damned.
10. We may need you to pause
Just to stop and listen to us for a second. A little extra time out of your day may be dedicated to talking to us and understanding what is going on in our heads. Take a moment to breath with us and make us feel like we are the most important person to you in that second of time.
11. You are in for the adventure of a lifetime
There will never be a dull day with us. We will always keep you on your toes and make waking up every day just a little bit more exciting.
12. We are worth it
Having a mental illness is something that is incomprehensible to a “regular person”. Often our mental illness scares others away and becomes something that we feel the need to hide because, once it comes out, people will no longer see us the same. But regardless of all the struggles that can come out of dating someone with a mental illness, come even more amazing things. We are special people who just require a little bit of extra time and love, but I promise you, you will always be appreciated.
