1. You remember everyone's birthday
You're like a walking calendar or birthdays and you can go down a line of friends and rattle off their birthdays in a heartbeat. In some way, shape, or form, you always make sure everyone's special day is remembered and celebrated, because you love these people and their dates of birth come to mind quicker than dates of national holidays.
2. You're a shuttle service
Whenever your friends all get together, you ask if anyone needs a ride and usually end up trekking to the other side of town to get some of your lovely lovelies even if your destination is in the completely opposite direction. But you don't mind because spending time with them is worth it. Your friends also get a kick out of your road rage that drastically contrasts with your ordinarily calm demeanor.
3. You help to teach people skills like laundry
Real talk: laundry isn't too hard, and you are not going to flood your house with soap bubbles, I promise. I taught about 10 people how to do laundry at college, and I didn't mind at all, because these people were my friends, and it's simply an important thing to know how to do.
4. You help to initiate events and the planning of said events (sometimes quite neurotically)
You do your best to get all your friends together in one place, listing dates and times and whatnot, and when people don't respond, like the paranoid mother you are, you throw the whole proposed itinerary out there again. But it's only because you want to see everyone and want everyone to see each other and don't want anyone to feel left out.
5. Safety first
Because you never know what kind of idiot is coming. You won't drive until everyone is buckled up, you make sure everyone is in their house safe before you drive away when you drop them off, you look both ways before crossing the street, and more than once, have had to yank a friend out of oncoming traffic. For me, my athletic reflexes are garbage but my protective reflexes are on point, and I will reach out to stop a friend from tripping, but there's nothing I can do to stop a football from hitting me in the face.
6. You're prepared with
medical supplies and food and an assortment of random things you never know
you'll need until you really need
Bless my own mother for passing this one in particular on to me. Basically, you have a miniature pharmacy stockpiled in your purse or room, from ibuprofen to Band-Aids to cough drops you're prepared for any illness that comes your or your friends' way. Also in your car, you have all this stuff in a bag in your glove compartment in addition to raincoats, umbrellas, chargers, etc. in the back, because hey, you never know. People think you're crazy for having so much stuff until they realize they need it. Again, bless my own mother, because she is this mom, and I never expected to need something like an iron at college until someone else needed it.
You help them into bed and make them tea or clean them up when they've hurt themselves after having a bit too much to drink. Or you bring them ice cream after wisdom teeth surgery because that's all they can eat. Bottom line, you just want your friends to be okay and don't at all mind taking care of them, which basically feeds into your maternal instinct.
8. You're a go-to person for resume/cover letter/essay review and editing when really you have no clue what you're doing yourself and include a bunch of big words
People trust you with helping them improve important documents, and you feel honored and excited that they come to you. You email-edited copies back and forth until you both feel it's the best it can be, because you want your friends to succeed. At the same time, you know when to pass it off back to them and make them finish it themselves, because in the process you realize that you haven't updated your resume since you made that rough draft in that freshman seminar course.
9. You are very protective of your friends, but you know you can't protect them from everything
"Don't text them. Do. Not."
"I'm just going to adopt you, and you're going to live with me, and I'm gonna protect you forever. Okay? Okay."
"I am a feeble and soft individual but I will fight this person if they come within a 500 mile radius of you."
You've probably said something to this effect when your friends have come to you with a problem or if someone is bothering them for some reason or another. They are very precious to you and you will go all mama bear rage when you find out they've been hurt. At the same time you can keep your cool and maturity and dole out advice.
10. You give a lot of advice
You've had many a long, late-night conversation listening a lot, saying, and doing what you can to make your friend feel better, because nothing would make you happier than them not feeling sad anymore. Sometimes a lot of people need help at once, but that's okay, you do everything you can (DISCLAIMER: while still taking care of yourself, dear god please, you're only human), because your friends and their happiness and wellbeing are important to you.
11. You are a great cheerleader and always super proud of their accomplishments
Whenever your friends are excited about something they did, you feel the need to be equally, if not more excited. You try to be encouraging, and yes, sometimes you're a bit over the top, but when you shout "You can totally do it!!" or "I am so freaking proud of you!!" you mean every word.
12. You feel like the mom
You can't seem to turn off your maternal instinct and sense of
responsibility, but at the same time, you know how to have fun and remember
that you are basically still a kid. Still you've got this weird combination of
maturity and goofiness that make a lot of your friends call you
"Mom." But all in all, the bottom line is you love your friends very,