When coffee constitutes your most important meal of the day, you might have a problem. So, I might have a problem. I begin my day with a piping hot cup of coffee and, more often than not, end my day with one as well. I value my mugs more than I value some people and "no coffee, no talky" is my morning mantra. My friends know how I like my coffee made and they know to bring me a cup on my bad days. I speak in fluent coffee quotes and have an entire board on Pinterest, so I know that coffee owns me. If you're depresso without your daily dose, as I am, there are some signs that coffee might own you.
1. When someone tries to take away your coffee or cut you off after just a few cups, you turn homicidal.
2. Out of your last five Instagram posts, at least one is a cup of coffee in front of an artsy background. It isn't too artsy, though, because it's pretty tough to wait for the perfect lighting when there's coffee sitting under your nose.
3. When you travel to a new place and enter the souvenir shop, you go straight for the coffee mugs. Your friends search for tourist t-shirts and cheesy frames.
4. You drink more cups of coffee than hours of sleep that you got the night before. When people ask you how you function on three hours of sleep, you look at them and hold up your ever-present coffee mug.
5. Your ideal date is a coffee date. You act like there's an option when you discuss the whereabouts of potential dates, but you know that it will end up in a coffee shop.
6. If you're moody, everyone knows that you don't have enough coffee in your system. When you are crazy-eyed and yelling at everyone, the safest move is probably to hand you a mug and leave you alone.
7. Coffee is the answer to all of your problems. Do you have a headache, heartbreak, or are having a bad day? Turn on the coffee maker.
8. Speaking of coffee makers, you have four. Two in the dorm, two at the house, and some cold coffee in the fridge just in case you oversleep. That's not to mention the Starbucks gift cards for when you're feeling fancy. You can never have enough coffee, right?
9. Nothing stands between you and your coffee. If the power goes out and you still need your daily dose, pull out the generator and plug that bad boy up on the front porch. The neighbors may stare, but they're probably just jealous.
10. You laugh at decaf drinkers. You don't mean to, but why? Do they not understand the purpose of coffee?
11. They say that you should drink eight cups of water per day, but you correct that to eight cups of coffee. It's basically the same because there's water in coffee.
12. Without coffee, you would probably be a low functioning individual with poor social skills. I know it and you know it, so let's just face the facts. Coffee gets us through the day.
We laugh at our obsession with coffee, but our dependence shows us that coffee is really the one in control. The avid coffee drinkers of the world, myself included, hold coffee as the one and only way to start the day. What can I say? We like our coffee a latte. It keeps us grounded and it teaches us to take life one cup at a time.
