Sunday brings about a new influx of scaries. Luckily, funny quotes are always available to improve Mondays. So, when the coffee and soda isn't quite enough to wake you up, some widely inappropriate and hilarious quotes might do the trick. Like most, I am a sucker for funny movies, especially stupid, funny movies. Although classic movies like "Talladega Nights" and "Anchorman" have some great quotes, I think "Wedding Crashers" holds some of the funniest. "Wedding Crashers" has always been one of my favorites, so here are some of its best quotes to get you through your Monday blues.
1. "Death, you are my bitch lover!"
2. "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me."
3. "The painting was a gift, Todd. I'm taking it with me."
4. "Call me 'Kitty Kat'."
5. "Ma, the meatloaf!!"
6. "Let's play tummy sticks."
7. "Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip.” Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair."
8. "Why don't you go enjoy yourself while I ice my balls and spit up blood?"
9. "Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!"
10. “Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.”
11. “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”
12. "I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a bitch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!"
