Being a referee for any sport isn't easy, but being a soccer ref is a pretty tough gig. From crazy parents to hostile 10-year-old kids, the job is never dull. The oh-so fashionable uniforms don't seem to lessen the pain that much, either. From difficult calls to ridiculous coaches, here's a list of 12 moments referees face as they race down the field in yellow.
1. When you find out you have five games in one day.
I mean, I'm all for 'the more games, the more money,' but almost nothing is worse than checking your schedule and seeing that you have to work five games on a Sunday. Except maybe if those five games are all back to back, to back, to back, to back...
2. And when you discover that all five games are U19.
Seriously? You expect me to keep up with two teams of 18-year-old boys for five games in a row? I'm loving the confidence and all, but maybe factor in a bit of realism next time. Somebody grab my inhaler, it's gonna be a long day.
3. When another referee asks "Can you pick up my last game?":
Here's the thing, pal. I've been running up and down a sideline all day, my face is outrageously sunburnt, I've forgotten how it feels to drink water and I haven't peed in five hours. And those parents on field three? I'm 99 percent sure they are trying to find my car and slash my tires. So, I think you might have to find someone else.
4. When you watch a player take a ball to the face:
*Cringing* Oh man. That was bad. Like, really bad. How is she still playing? Girl, take a knee. That one hurt me from here. Someone get this girl an ice pack.
5. When you're looking at the center for the call, but they're looking right back at you...
Look, there were a lot of people around the ball, I'm pretty sure it ricocheted off of at least three players and I was mostly focused on not dropping my flag as I sprinted down the sideline. Why are you still staring at me? C'mon man I obviously don't know. I say you just pick a direction. Did your eyes just flicker to the right? Okay, we're going right. *raises flag to the right with complete confidence*
6. When you can hear all of the parents harassing you, but all you can think about is food:
I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't, oh man. That was definitely my stomach. How have I survived this long without proper sustenance? How much time is left until halftime? Do I still have that orange at the bottom of my ref bag? I wonder if the snack bar will give me thanks-for-reffing-all-day credit...
7. When a player on the U12 team you're currently reffing starts using words that should definitely not be in their vocabulary:
My jaw just dropped. Like, it's probably resting on the ground right now. How old are you? Why do you know these words? Where is your mother? What does that even mean?
8. When you have a break in between games and all you can think about is sleep:
Okay, so, if my game ends at 11:15, and my next game starts at 12:45, leaving time to check in both teams before the next game... that should leave me around 60 minutes to use the bathroom, eat something, and take a nap. By now, I've become a pro at napping in my folding chair. Let's just hope I don't oversleep.
9. Having to call a penalty kick:
Why did you do that. You're a defender, in your own box, and you decide punching away the ball was the smartest idea?It couldn't have been more deserving? Why are you making me the bad guy here. I hate this just as much as you do. This is too much pressure, would it be that obvious if I just called a goal kick instead?
10. When a parent tries to lecture you about what a terrible job you're doing:
Yes, Susan, please tell me more about how I am ruining your son's career as a professional soccer player. No, really, i'm sure the MLS is here right now, scouting him! Oh an by the way, you're totally right there was absolutely no way he was offside on the last play. Better yet, here girl, take my flag. I have a nap to go take.
11. When a coach gets in your face, yelling about how he used to be a superstar, so he knows better than you:
High-five! You're a 47-year-old man yelling at an 18-year-old girl! Look dude, it's not like they're standing in the parking lot, handing out badges to anyone who looks like they can carry a flag while walking sideways. I actually had decent training to be here! And please, for the love of soccer, understand that not every single call is going to be your way. Now, head back to your EZ-Up and give me my sideline back.
12. When the losing team won't shake your hand after the game, but all you can think about is how much bank you just made.
This day will go down in my personal reffing history for Longest Work Day Ever. It's alright though, I'll forget about all the threats and hideous sock tan lines the moment I get that paycheck. *flips ponytail*
