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12 Facebook Friends From Your Timeline

We Know Them All Too Well

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12 Facebook Friends From Your Timeline

Though one might think Facebook’s 1.49 billion monthly active users would make for quite a diverse online population, if you’ve ever actually used Facebook, you know that there are definite ‘types’ of friends that we see over and over again on our timelines. Here are twelve of those friends:

1. Rant Guy

Whether this person rants about politics, religion, or the injustices (I use the term ‘injustices’ very loosely) of their daily life, we all have at least one Rant Guy on our timelines. Rant Guy is equally as opinionated as he is long-winded. After any major news happens, you can usually count on Rant Guy to give you a paragraph-long dose of the TRUTH. Rant Guy often takes away the need for TripAdvisor and Yelp because he’s posted his detailed experiences on Facebook. And don’t you dare disagree with Rant Guy by way of commenting on his rant: the one thing he loves more than anything is an opportunity to aggressively and repeatedly restate his opinion.

2. Compulsive Commenters


This person often gets into fights with Rant Guy because they just can’t seem to keep their fingers off their own keyboards. They stand out not because they make comments, but because they comment excessively: on pictures, statuses, and every post in between. They usually put “LOL” on everything they think is funny. They always feel the need to tell you how they feel about everything you or anyone else posts. Put simply, they don't realize that enough is enough or know when to keep it to themselves.

3. The Game Requester

Whether or not these people are always aware that they are sending you these requests, I am not so sure. But one thing that I am sure of is that I do not want to play Candy Crush with them. And I never will.

4. Your Mom

Our moms see everything we do on Facebook. We know this for two reasons:

One: some of our moms like and comment on all of our posts. We sometimes wonder if they really know what they’re looking at, or if they’re going to care about the questionable things they may see.

Two: Some of our moms don’t leave any traceable evidence of seeing our posts. But we know that she still sees them because we receive calls or texts from her about particular items of interest. “Saw pics on FB- what are you up to?” “You look like you had fun this weekend...…”

5. The Friend With A Really Fun Life

It seems like they are constantly out at new places, cool restaurants, concerts, or parties. They are usually surrounded by a sizable group of friends or a very attractive significant other. They will ‘check in’ somewhere fun or more likely will just post some envy-inspiring photos. We’ve all wanted to be this friend at some point.

6. Your "Friend" Who Won't Acknowledge You In Person

You might have known this person once upon a time, or just be sorta-kinda acquainted with them, but they like your pictures on Facebook. Then, when you see them out at a party, walk by them on campus, or encounter them in a public place, they won’t talk to you… which is weird. I know you’ve stalked my life a little bit… at least wave or something.

7. Your Most Faithful Likers

You can always count on these people for a like, a share, or a nice comment. They’re the best. Need I say more?


8. Oversharers

You might feel like you know a lot about this person’s life. In fact, you probably know a little bit too much: their address, their GPA, their health history, and their coffee order from Starbucks. They post pictures of everything. They post about what they’re doing and how they’re feeling at any given time, probably in intimate detail, which has made you uncomfortable on multiple occasions. You often look at their posts and think "I really did not need to see / know that."

9. Parents of Young Children

I feel that many parents of young children also fit into the Oversharer category. Don't get me wrong– I like to look at pictures of my Facebook friends’ kids on my timeline. They're adorable. However, when I know every meal your kid has eaten all week, every public place they’ve visited, and the details of every meltdown they’ve had, I find myself answering the question, "Is nothing sacred anymore?" with a resounding "No, it is not."

10. 'Selfie Sunday'

This person posts an excess of selfies (not just on Sundays). This is always annoying and definitely inappropriate for anyone over the age of fourteen. I understand the occasional selfie, but when a solid one-third of your photos are of you, taken by you, it is time to put the cellphone camera down and reevaluate your past choices.

11. The SuperFan

The SuperFan has one or more things that he or she is very passionate about, so you’d best be prepared to see a lot of it on your timeline. The SuperFan posts almost daily about a sports team, a social issue, a band, the military, health and fitness, or virtually any other topic you probably don't find terribly interesting. Much like dealing with Rant Guy, it’s best to exercise caution when inserting your opinion into one of their posts by way of a comment because they will be ruthless arguers.

12. The Guy Who Hasn't Updated His Facebook Since 2011

One day, you might be thinking to yourself, “I wonder what happened to so and so, I haven’t seen them in years.” So, you search through their tagged Facebook photos but find no evidence of them walking around this earth within the past five years. Maybe they are totally inactive on Facebook, or maybe they just prefer to not post anything. But come on, we’re living in a digital age. Commit to your updating your social medias once in a while.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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