The question "Are you an introvert or extrovert?" eventually circulates in conversations with others. However, what happens if you fall somewhere in between the two categories? I usually just end up telling people I'm an introvert; but when actually pondering the question, I've come to the conclusion that I'm an outgoing introvert. What is an outgoing introvert, you may ask? You're basically an outgoing person, but most people don't realize that you are this way by overcoming shyness and introversion.
If you're one of the people who categorize themselves as an oxymoron (like myself), I hope you can relate to some confessions of an outgoing introvert:
1. I'm selectively social...
Hanging out with friends until four in the morning, spontaneously going places, and splurging on random events like concerts rank as some of my favorite activities. However, I feel no remorse over missing events, either. FOMO is not real to me, because I recognize when I need to recharge and be antisocial, and when I need to go out and have some fun.
2. ...because I can only take so much social interaction before I can't deal.
I love getting to know people--each person on this Earth is fearfully and wonderfully made, and I delight in learning more of their backgrounds, beliefs, and personalities. However, I can only take so much before my outgoing-introvert brain needs to take a nap for five hours, binge-watch "Gossip Girl," and check out from this chaotic and socially-draining world.
3. I get lonely if I don't see people.
This is why I can't say I'm completely an introvert--sure, I need my alone time, and alone time recharges me, but I can't stand not seeing people over a long period of time. I love my days and nights in, but too long without people is just plain lonely and draining.
4. I love one-on-one conversations.
Whether it be fifteen minutes to stop to talk to me between class, or hours sitting at a cafe together, one-on-one conversations make me feel known, loved, and appreciated. Additionally, quality time is one of my favorite ways to show love to other people.
5. I feel deeply about things.
As an outgoing introvert, I think deeply about abstract concepts and theories about life as I walk to class, and I always ponder the bigger picture in stressful situations. My brain just won't shut up. For example, when asked to run an errand over at the neonatal ICU during my internship at the hospital, I started tearing up as I left the department, thinking about how each baby's life was beautiful, and each baby didn't deserve to be fighting for life, and each mother deserved to have the baby right by her side instead of distantly connected to a series of tubes and wires. Emotional? Yes. But can I keep it in check? Yes to that too!
6. I don't really have a "group" of friends.
You know that friend group that always does everything together, and if you see one person, you better see the other four? I never really had that. I do way better forming deep relationships with people from various groups.
7. People don't always believe me when I say I'm introverted.
It's because I'm good at hiding it when I'm in large groups, and I'd gladly pick up the conversation for people who feel less comfortable talking in the group. Trust me, at my core, I'm an introvert.
8. I'm a good listener.
I won't always have the best advice for you, but if you want to talk for hours and vent about your life, I will be there for you in a heartbeat. It's much easier for me to sympathize with you, to be a shoulder to cry on, a welcoming hug, and an encouragement than giving you constructive criticism. Believe me, if we're close, I will admonish you in a loving way to help build you up. But I just really love deep talks and listening.
9. I go to events sometimes just to not let my friends down.
Not even under the assumption that they wouldn't have fun without me--I just want them to know that I cherish spending time with them, and I'd do anything for them, even if it means seeing people when I really don't have the desire to do so.
10. I love studying in busy places.
This is a beautiful thing--you're surrounded by people, but you don't have any social obligations to say hi to any of these people.
11. I love making people feel welcome.
I know what it's like to face anxiety over meeting new people--I used to embrace the fact that I was the shy girl. Therefore, I don't mind going out of my way to make people feel welcome and included.
12. Silence doesn't scare me.
Some people really hate awkward silences, but I say it's only awkward if you say it's awkward. I actually feel known when I'm able to sit in the car with someone and not have to say anything--that means they're comfortable enough with me to not have any social pressures bearing down on them.
So, outgoing introverts. It's a thing. We're not avoiding you--we just need to recharge. We're not being fake--we genuinely like to spend time with you. It's a confusing balancing act, but it's a fun one.
