A lot can go wrong with a live performance. Theatre can't be edited like a film, so when stuff happens, you have to work with it and just keep going. Here are some common onstage mishaps that you may have experienced!
1. When you look down and realize you’re wearing a hair tie.
This is a very specific kind of self-disappointment. You’re not being true to the period or the character or the playwright. It’s the one part of yourself that you shouldn't have brought into the play. You’re supposed to bring your emotional baggage and sense memory -- not your hair-tie. Plus, you know your custom designer is going to kill you and you will incur a fine.
2. When the mic pack slips from your waist.
One of two things can happen, or both: The wire can disconnect from the pack, cutting off your sound. You're afraid the audience will miss key information they need to follow the story. And the pack can hang out of your skirt and swing around. You have to contort your body to make sure it doesn't fall off completely or become visible to the audience. This is the kind of 'mic drop' you don't want.
3. When your mic tape comes off.
Either makeup or sweat or not enough tape will do this and it will make you less audible and it will look like you have a little antenna coming out of your face.
4. When someone misses an entrance...
“Where is… Sir John?” asks your wide-eyed cast mate in their best attempt to stay in character. “It appears he has been called to the front early…” you say, feeling awesome that you thought of it, even though your heart is pounding because this is going against routine.“It’s a shame that he should be sent to battle so abruptly!” says another actor. You all look at each other and smile: success! The audience will never know!
5. ...Then, the revenge sass that occurs when that actor comes on late.
Everyone has sweated it out and used all of their brain power to cover for the actor playing “Sir John.” You covered his lines, made his excuses and kept the show going in a way that makes sense for the plot. Suddenly Sir John waltzes onstage and now nothing makes sense to the audience. They may laugh a lot if they notice, which is always fun. But the other actors will not let Sir John get away with it.
Typical remarks to Sir John might include:
“Ah, Sir John, have they discharged you already?”
And then another actor will jump in with delight, “Well it’s no wonder, being that the military highly values punctuality.”
Suddenly, the playwright is wondering what happened to his masterpiece and the actors are lost in their battle of wits and sweet, sweet revenge.
6. When you're working with live animals and they don't cooperate.
They’re trained and exceptionally well-behaved, but sometimes nature calls and nothing can be done to stop that call. My favorite example of this was on "The Carol Burnett Show" (a live variety show from the 60’s and 70’s) when Ms. Burnett was doing a funny sketch parodying Judy Garland movies. She was singing a song on a quaint farm set with a real horse in the background. The horse had an accident, prompting a stagehand to come on stage and begin mopping while she was still singing the song. She broke immediately and laughed with the audience, which I've always thought was awesome. One of the greatest improvisers of all time, Ms. Burnett tried to sing again, but soon stopped, turned to the stagehand with a single raised eyebrow and asked, “Is he through?”
7. The out-of-body experience.
I’m not talking about the good kind where you “become the character.” No, this is the one that happens (hopefully) rarely. You’re in the middle of a long run and one night the lines suddenly sound strange to you in the same way that saying a word over and over makes it sound weird. You could be singing all the right notes, hitting your mark, and physically there, but your mind is saying, “I am a person on a stage right now and there are hundreds of people watching me and what if I accidentally have a Freudian slip or say something inappropriate and this is all so strange that they are paying to watch me play pretend. What is theatre? What is life? What are my hands doing right now? This is all so unnatural... I'm hungry.” It’s not stage fright, it’s just the mind wandering too far from the task at hand and causing you to over-think everything about what’s happening. It takes a lot of hard work, focus and training for actors to learn how to be completely in the moment, and this happens to everyone at least once. (Right, guys? Tell me it does...)
8. When the person you're acting opposite tries to make you break.
There are those people, typically your buddies, who will try out new bits on you, ad lib and put you on the spot in front of a live audience. You fight your absolute hardest to keep it together, but sometimes they will pull something that makes you lose all willpower and dignity.
9. Wardrobe malfunctions.
This includes, but is not limited to: Forgetting to wear the right underwear/underclothes, being unable to unzip something during a quick change (making it a long change), and pants ripping or dresses slipping down from the chest area…Sometimes costumes are pinned in vulnerable places and pins fall out and you end up giving the audience more than they expected (and paid for)!
10. Prop-flops.
Sometimes a bottle that is used to fake-knock a character out will break too soon and the audience laughs in what is supposed to be a serious fight moment. Or the person who is in charge of bringing on a full champagne bottle accidentally brings on an empty one and has to pour air into several glasses.
11. Mics accidentally picking up backstage banter.
Oh, this is such a dangerous one. Actors talk like sailors backstage, and if their mics are still on once they’ve exited… you just pray that your grandmother didn’t hear.
12. Missing the 'button.'
This one is my personal favorite. So painful for the guilty actor; so funny for everyone else.
There are a plethora of things that can go wrong on stage, but that's the beauty of a live performance. It's what makes theatre exciting, suspenseful and engaging. The mistakes only make the story and the characters feel more real for the audience! Besides, all of these mistakes usually result in a good laugh. Except for maybe the stagehand who has to clean up after the horse...
