It was a typical Wednesday. I was heading to my twelve o’clock class with a tall green tea frappuccino from Starbucks in hand when I heard the term “basic b*tch” from a few frat boys walking about five steps behind me. As I continued to hear the term from the people around me, finally, it hit me! We all talk about people being “basic,” but what really qualifies someone to be a “basic b*tch?” Here we go…
1. Sorority
Whether it’s Zeta Tau Alpha and their crown, Kappa Delta, or hell, even Phi Mu. We all know you are really just hopping on that train for the over-sized T-shirts and letters for your car. Don’t lie to yourself.
2. Get yourself some Norts (Nike shorts)
Basic b*tches ALWAYS have a stock pile of Norts. I mean, you can’t have all those over-sized T-shirts and no pants, although it may look like it.
3. White Converse
Let’s be real, whether they're high tops or just plain old short ones, EVERY basic b*tch owns a pair. If you don’t, get your life together.
4. Hunter Rain Boots
I can’t tell you how many pairs of d*mn Hunter rain boots I see on campus. Anytime there is even a chance of scattered sprinkling, the b*tches break them out. No worries about the outfit to go with; wear them with your Norts, or be like me and wear them with a cute romper.
5. Uggs
When the temperature begins to drop, the Ugg boots come out. There are short and tall. Some have buttons and some are super basic (Is that even possible?).
6. Starbucks
We love it. Hell, even guys love it. We all love the Mocha Coconut Frappuccino or the passion tea in the summer. We fall in love all over again each autumn with the delicious nutmeg taste that is the Pumpkin Spice Latte.
7. High-waisted shorts
Whatever shape or size you are, you ALL own at least a few pairs of high-waisted shorts that you wear to your basic country concerts or out to the bars with a crop top when you really wanna show some skin.
8. Bleach the sh*t out of your hair
I am guilty as charged. We all just want to be tan and blonde even if it’s just a little bit. I’m not saying go platinum. That’s for the Playboy bunnies. We are all guilty of getting “a few foils” and coming out three shades lighter okay? Don’t deny it.
9. Red lipstick
We can all thank Taylor Swift for this one. “Loving him was red.” No one said our lips had to be too, but I guess that’s what we took it as. Red lips all d*mn day.
10. Netflix
If you don’t have one, please do the world a favor and get out from the rock that you are currently residing under. How can you carry on a conversation with anyone in this world and not understand the complex relationship of "Gossip Girl" 's Chuck and Blair or even the heartfelt emotion behind knowing who your person is from "Grey’s Anatomy"? Those are the real basic foundations of life. Don’t even get me started on "Orange is The New Black"….
11. Frat Boys
They gossip more than girls do. Whether they’re just a close guy friend that you want to take to formal or a guy you wanna stay with for a night (usually turns into a few), he will be of top tier or that’s just social suicide. So do yourself and your chapter a favor and choose wisely.
(Featured: Frat boy Shervin Bahraini-Pi Kappa Phi)
