1. The Complainers Who Think They Know Better
Oh, you mean you know that our guest attendance is going to drop if we keep having reserved seating so we should listen to you and just stop? Kthxbai!
2. “You can’t let me in just this one time? Pleeeease?”
“Oh you want two to ‘Deadpool?’ Okay. Can I see your ID?”
–they give me one ID—
“I need to see ID for everyone going.”
“You mean my one ID isn’t going to work for all of us?”
“No. It won’t. Now go watch a movie you’re all old enough for.”
3. “But I said so!”
Even if you are their parent and you do say they can watch the movie without you—the public movie theatre guidelines state that we actually cannot let them go in without having a parent or guardian with them—no matter what you say.
4. The Fake Hundy
You’re not the first one or the last one to tell me this so… Thanks, but you’re not funny. Hearing this “joke” every day at least 5 times a day makes it the most annoying thing ever—not something I’m going to laugh at.
5. “Oh, I didn’t like it…but I stayed anyway.”
You mean to say you sat there, watched the entire movie, and never had the inkling during the movie to come back and get a refund when you didn’t like what you were seeing? I’m sure the ending wasn’t the problem with the movie. So, thank you for scamming us into giving you a free movie because “customer service.”
6. “No! I wanted ‘Fifty Shades of Grey!’ Not ‘Cinderella!’”
You mean to say that I checked what movie you wanted three times, and had you confirm it all three times, just to accuse me of giving you the wrong movie? I promise, I know what I’m hearing and what I’m tapping on that screen.
7. The Blank Stare
“We’re not fandango.”
“What do you mean you’re not?”
“I mean that is a different company and you have to use those gift cards at fandango.com.”
“So I can’t use it here?”
*cries*
8. Hold Your Horses
You ripped them completely wrong and tried to keep the wrong ticket too. We actually do have a process to how we rip our tickets and to which part we keep and it would actually be so advantageous of you to just let us do our job.
9. “Oh, of course sir. Do you want a pony to go with that?”
Yes. We will rewind the movie just for you because you didn’t plan your night out properly. It’s not like we have other guests who got here on time for the movie or anything—it’s only you. I am so glad you recognized that your car was alone in the parking lot........not.
10. The Hates-Everything Guest
The popcorn is not stale. You don’t even know what stale popcorn is. I’ve taken this popcorn home and kept it at my house for a week once before eating it and it still tasted the same as it had when it was recently popped.
11. The Complainers continued…
I’m sorry, did you miss the fact that they had a ton of popcorn buckets and drinks or was I completely imagining those things? Did I even help that guest at all? Did they even exist? Or did I just imagine that I had a lot of things to do for them? Maybe you should think before you judge and before you speak.
When it comes to my job, I think I know it just a tad bit better than you do. If we have reserved seats, we have them for a reason. It won’t make your life more difficult unless you let it. If we give you popcorn, it’s not going to be stale. If you tell me a movie, I won’t just decide to give you a different movie. We have rules and procedures we are supposed to follow and there is literally no way we would purposefully do our jobs wrong, so perhaps you should stop trying to tell us how to do our jobs and begin acting like a grateful customer. We do a service to you in the fact that we even provide this type of establishment to your society so please treat your friendly neighborhood theatre employees with every ounce of kindness and patience you can muster. We don’t get paid enough for your crap.
