Whether it’s a breakup or a failed test, there are so many things people can be upset by on a daily basis. Sadness can come from anything on any end of the spectrum. It’s all real and it all counts. But not everybody gets that. Some people have issues with sad people. Maybe they just want everybody to be happy, or they don’t know how to comfort people, but these people tend to say some stupid things. Don’t be one of those people. Here are some things you should never say to a sad person:
1. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
It may not seem like that big of a deal to you, but to the person dealing with it, it’s the biggest deal. Don’t downsize other people’s problems just because you don’t understand them yourself.
2. “Just get over it already.”
Don’t you think they could if they would? No one sits there wanting to be sad. It takes time for people to get through things. Give them that time.
3. “It could be worse.”
Yes, thank you, it could be. Duh. But that doesn’t mean someone doesn’t have a right to be upset over something. Your argument is invalid, next!
4. “Just be more positive.”
Uh, trying, here! It’s hard to be positive when you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. When you’re going through something that makes you sad, it’s not that easy for some people to just look at the bright side. People are allowed to be sad.
5. “I know how you feel.”
That’s awesome. Thanks for letting me know. But to be honest, that doesn’t change anything about how I feel. People who are going through tough times don’t care that you know how it feels. Don’t make it about you.
6. “It’s all in your head.”
Well, yeah. Thanks, Captain Obvious. Sometimes it is. But that doesn’t make it any less legit or easier to deal with. Sometimes our minds are our biggest enemies and can cause more destruction than anything purely physical.
7. “Just choose to be happy.”
Oh my god, I’m cured! Thank you! No, but really. I hate when people say this. If it was that easy, nobody would ever be sad. I’m sure if you’ve said this you’ve been sad at some point in your life (and if you haven’t, please, teach me your ways).
8. “You’re fine.”
Oh really? I’m so happy you know more about me than I do. News flash, just because someone looks fine, they could still be dealing with something. And it doesn’t help when someone diminishes their problems by telling them they’re fine. That just confirms their preconceived notions that nobody notices, which can be very detrimental to someone struggling with something.
9. “Are you on your period?”
Sorry guys, this one’s not for you. But girls, I’m sure you’ve been accused of “just PMSing” when you’ve been upset about something. And I’m sure you’ve gotten extremely pissed off by it, as anyone would. In case you didn’t know, girls can have bad days that have nothing to do with their menstrual cycles. Next.
10. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
This is such a hurtful thing to say to someone who is clearly sad. They already feel bad enough, don’t say stupid things like this and make it worse. If you can’t figure out how to deal with someone being sad, it’d be better to just say nothing than to say something like this.
11. “Cheer up already!”Wow, I wish someone told me it was that easy a long time ago. Could’ve saved me hundreds of bad days. Seriously, though, c’mon. Don’t be selfish and get mad at people for being upset. No one can just change their mood or their mindset with the snap of a finger. (But again, if you’ve figured out how, contact me immediately).