All my friends know I have ADHD. It's not a secret. It's not something I hide. It's actually one of the first things I tell people about myself. However, some of my closest friends can see me when my ADHD is not at intense as other times, and still be surprised. I still get told sometimes "wow, you really do have ADHD" when my ADHD is really bad and people still ask if I really have ADHD on days where it's not as bad or intense. While saying something like, "Do you take medication?" may be okay, there are some things that people with ADHD are simply tired of hearing. Here are 11 things people with ADHD are tired of hearing.
1. "You don't act like you have ADHD, are you sure you have it?"
Yes. I go to a neurologist once a month and I have been since second grade. My file there is pretty freaking huge (thirteen and a half years of files in there, LOL) and I have gotten about 13 brainwave scans at said neurologist in my life (one a year). I need to take my medication every single day in order to be able to function in society like a normal human being, and when I don’t take it, I can be a completely different person.
2. "ADHD isn't real." / "Everyone nowadays has ADHD."
NO.
If people who don't have ADHD would stop saying they do, maybe people would stop saying it isn't real.
3. "Can I buy your pills?"
Short answer – No.
Long answer – No, because I actually need them to function and be able to get through a normal day of class, schoolwork and anything else you can do without them. Thank you.
4. "So, are you like, stupid or something?"
Actually, I’m pretty freaking smart. My brain just takes a little longer to process some things than other people. My brain just works in a different, more complex way, often traveling with 400 completely different thoughts at once. I may not be the smartest person ever, and my brain cannot comprehend math, but I was in the gifted program in elementary school. I tend to think more outside the box and think up my own way of doing things rather than typical ways, which could be why people sometimes think I’m stupid, but people with ADHD, are typically a lot smarter than people give us credit for.
5. "If you have ADHD, then why can you focus on ______ and not _______?"
With ADHD, you tend to hyper focus rather than simply focusing. You zero in on one thing, and focus on that for a while. Everybody has their own things as well. I, personally, can sit for literally hours on end reading, coloring, or doing a jigsaw puzzle or logic puzzle. If you sit me down with some math problems in the same setting I would be doing any of those, you would find me constantly fidgeting, doodling, daydreaming, etcetera. With ADHD, I tend to focus solely on things I’m interested in. I need to be motivated more than usual in order to do something I’m not as interested in, and that can be really hard to do.
6. "Oh, you have ADHD, you can't do this."
BS. I can literally do anything. ADHD is my superpower, what's yours?
7. "Wow, is this what having ADHD is like?" / "Oh, this must be what having ADHD is like, right?"
This is usually asked when the person asking has trouble focusing on schoolwork or something for a day or a few hours. The answer is no, the inability to focus on school work for a couple hours at a time does not mean you have ADHD. There's literally so much more to ADHD than the basic inability to sit still or focus.
8. "Can you please stop doing ______ and pay attention?"
No, I can’t stop fidgeting or ripping this piece of paper into tiny pieces or doodling or whatever else it is you are asking me to stop doing because my brain will wander more if I try to sit completely still, sorry, Professor. I pay more attention while doodling or doing literally anything where it looks like I'm not paying attention, than when I'm just sitting there watching a professor speak.
9. "Have you taken Adderall / Insert any specific ADHD medication here?"
No. Just because I have ADHD does not mean I take whatever pill it is you're asking about. I think we tried Adderall once when I was younger and it didnt work for me, so there's that. Also, there are so many ADHD medications out there. I personally don't mind telling people what I take, but what does it matter to you if I have taken Adderall or whatever pill you're asking about? How does this affect your life?
10. "Well, my sister's boyfriend's best friend's cousin has ADHD, so I'm like an expert. I know a lot about it."
Ummm…. Sorry, but no.
Knowing someone with ADHD does not make you an expert. Even living with ADHD does not make you an expert. I am literally always learning new things about ADHD that makes life make so much more sense.
And, last but not least:
11. "You know, you should just try harder!"
But like, no. I already have to try harder and push myself at least twice as hard as everyone else in order to be able to succeed at the same rate as my peers. However, I don’t view my ADHD as a permanent roadblock, but rather as a detour life threw at me. If I need to work twice as hard as my friends in order to achieve the same result, so be it. People with ADHD are forced to try harder with tiny, everyday occurrences, so please don’t tell me I’m not trying hard enough when you know that I am. I may not always put as much effort into something as I can, but when you can clearly see that I’m trying really hard to do something, whether it be pay attention more in class, take better notes, get better grades, etc.; please don’t tell me that if I would just try harder, it would go away.
ADHD does not define me. I define me.
