Yes! You have finally landed a date with your crush, and everything is going great. They are even more perfect than you could have ever imagined. There is definitely going to be a second date in the near future. At least, there was going to be, until you did the thing. Regardless of whether your gender/sex and your preference, there are just some things that no one should do one a first date.
1. Talk about your ex.
I feel like this one is pretty obvious, but believe me, you'd be surprised. It's not the absolute worst thing you could do, especially if the other person asks about it, but nothing kills a mood quite like crying at dinner when you realize you're still not over that one guy that your parents hated but you didn't care because it was love.
2. Get drunk.
Again, I feel like this is obvious. Again, you'd be surprised. Seriously, just don't do it. Nothing about it sounds like it would be a good idea. Unless your date is at a bar and the sole purpose is to get drunk, I would avoid it. Not being able to control yourself is not cute, you are not at a frat party. Likewise, drugs probably aren't a good idea either.
3. Interrogate your date.
Yes, you should ask questions. No, you do not need to know what their great aunt on his mother's side does for a living. Ask enough questions to keep a conversation going, but let them ask some too. This is a date, not an interrogation. Also make sure the questions your are asking aren't super personal or weird. Just go with the flow of the conversation, you should be able to tell your boundaries.
4. Uproot the family tree.
Sure it's great to talk about that one time your sister took you skydiving or your cousin met Barack Obama, probably not the best to delve into why your father didn't hug you as a child though. Family issues are nothing to be ashamed of, everyone has them, but there will be plenty of time to rip those band aids off later in the relationship. Family can pull out some pretty strong emotions, and like I said, crying at the dinner table is not very appetizing or attractive.
5. DTR.
For those of you who don't know, DTR means "Define The Relationship". You've been out once! There is no relationship! Unless it is one of those super rare occasions where you both hit it off so well that you are ready to be in a committed relationship, don't do it. Not only will they feel bad for not being able to give you an answer, it will just be weird for both of you.
6. Talk about sex.
Granted, some people might be okay with it, but it's probably best to play it safe unless you know for sure. Nothing ruins an appetite more than unwarranted sex talk in the middle of dinner. It is not sexy, you are not showing your dominance, you are being gross. At least let them finish their meal! (This excludes any and all Tinder dates..)
7. Flirt with other people.
Obviously you aren't committed to this person if its only your first date but seriously? You can go a few hours without flirting with more than one person, it's not that difficult. And if you can't, that is a telltale sign that you aren't interested and there probably shouldn't be a second date. Or it could just simply mean that you aren't ready for anything serious yet and that's okay, just don't go on serious dates.
8. Be late.
S*it happens, we get it. Traffic jams, car trouble. Call or text and let them know that you'll be a few minutes late, no biggie. But there is NO reason for you to show up a half hour late for the sake of not wanting to look too eager. Congratulations, you don't look eager, you look like a douche.
9. Stand them up.
This is worse than being late. Again, stuff can happen, but let them know and try to reschedule. Don't just leave them waiting at the restaurant wondering. They could've made other plans if you weren't so selfish. There is seriously not one excuse for it. Not one. Okay, I'm being dramatic, but still, not cool dude. Not cool.
10. Talk about wanting kids.
Not much can make someone run quite as fast as bringing up wanting to have kids on a first date. That is a conversation that can definitely wait a while, especially if you're younger. Even if you aren't specifically saying you want to have kids with them, it doesn't matter, that's what they are hearing. That you want to have 12 kids with them in a span of 5 years. I guarantee it.
11. PROPOSE!
I know what you're thinking, "yeah right". But it definitely happens. And it is painful for everyone involved. So I beg you, please don't do it. Think of the children, think of the innocent lives around you. Don't submit them to that kind of stupidity. Please.
