What kind world would we live in if coffee didn’t exist? As much as it pains me to think of such things, I can only imagine it as a horrible, judgmental, and unaccepting place. A place where the only Joe you wake up to is depressingly far from tall, dark, and hot. Actually, this sort of is the world we (I) live in, but coffee, the beverage of champions, makes that reality a little bit easier to deal with.

1. It helps you get your priorities done without seriously contemplating harming other individuals or stationary objects.

Can a “5- Hour Energy” give you the motivation write a 12 page dissertation while FaceTiming your Grandmother about the bag-boy she graciously gave your phone number to at Meijer? I think not. Think of all the great inventions, theories, experiments, and Tinder dates that never would have transpired were it not for coffee.

2. It makes other people (more) tolerable.

Coffee ensures my attitude and vocal pitch while interacting with others is more comparable to a Disney Princess rather than a Bridge Troll.

3. It makes you (more) tolerable.

Remember in junior high when you had braces, acne, and (let’s be honest) a horrible attitude? Don’t worry, we all did. That is why 13 year olds are the worst. The good news is, that was your before coffee (BC) self. But then, probably while at the mall, you discovered Frappuccinos. And because of that, you are now so (kind of) much better as at human-ing.

4. It is the modern stepping stone for dating.

You: “We should hangout soon” ~not at 3am~

Them: “Yeah, definitely”

You: …

Them: (2:57am) “Wanna get coffee with me after Chem lab on Thursday?”

You: “Yeah, definitely! *heart eye emoji*”

Boom. You are now “talking” which in 2016 means everything(?) (Nothing?) Does anyone really know anymore?

5. It is there for you when no one else is.

Who wants to stay up and watch you write your 12 page dissertation? Coffee. Who is not going to distract you with puppies on Instagram and BuzzFeed quizzes telling you your Disney doppelganger is Dory? Coffee.

6. It is festive.

Fall: Pumpkin Spice Latte. Winter: Peppermint Mocha. Summer: Iced Vanilla Latte. Spring: Iced Caramel Macchiato. Technically, these are specific to Starbucks. BUT, the type of coffee you drink says a lot about, not only you as a person, but also the environment you’re currently living in. If there is ice in your cup, there is probably not ice on the ground. If you need a sleeve on your cup, you probably need sleeves on your shirt.

7. It is good for you.

According to an article published by the “Huffington Post” entitled, “3 Reasons To Make Coffee Part Of Your Skincare Routine”, coffee has added beauty benefits. Some of these benefits include: reduces puffiness around the eyes, (temporarily) reduces the presence of cellulite, and exfoliates and smooths dry skin. PSA: COFFEE MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!

8. It is the center of so many classic TV Shows.

Friends: Central Perk, Gilmore Girls: Luke’s Diner, Seinfeld: Monk’s Cafe. Need I go on? (Also, honorary mention for Lorelai Gilmore; the epitome of the “cool mom”)

9. It wakes you up and helps you start your day right.

I hate mornings. That being said, each day when I conjure up the courage to get out of bed and face the world that awaits me, coffee is there to soften the blow. The smell of the roasted coffee beans, the sound of the Keurig as the water effortlessly combines with the grounds, the steam that floats above the brim of my mug. (Okay so I may be having a strange love affair with coffee, stop judging me.)

10. It makes you feel like an adult/someone who has their life together.

Think back to the first time you had coffee. You may have been relatively young, and if you’re anything like me you probably hated coffee the first time you tried it. Flash forward to your junior year of high school. You’re “literally dying”. You’re exhausted, you can’t use anymore sick days unless you want to end up in summer school. So you decide to make some coffee (with six packets of Splenda and half a cup of cream). It was delicious and for the first time in 16 years, you feel like an adult. Because of that feeling, every time you drink coffee, even if you haven’t been to class in a few days, ate Cheetos and Gummy Bears for dinner, and cannot for the life of you remember where you put your Key Fob, you feel like an adult. And that feeling is all any college student can wish for.

11. It has helped you get through college thus far.

Every all-nighter, early morning tailgate, study date, wake up call, research paper; you name it. If coffee never existed, you probably would have more problems than trying to remember to submit your Web Assign homework before 11:59pm on a Friday night. Coffee is just as responsible for your degree as you are. So, go ahead and brew yourself a nice cup. You earned it.