By the time I started high school, my siblings were well into the world of adulthood in L.A. doing their thing. My first year of high school was a mixture of anxiety and cluelessness. In retrospect, that was a normal start for a kid, but a part of me wished a few events could have changed for the better. Maybe those fair-weather friends and I would have never met. Maybe senior year would have been different. So many possibilities!
1. Say no to underage drinking
My first encounter with rum came from a gift of a bottle with an addition of Coca-Cola. Whoever made it didn't know what a measuring cup was or a hell of a bartender. Nonetheless, I wish I never made the choice to take a sip until much later even if that negates the unspoken rite of passage. Though I never drove drunk, please always have a designated driver who is sober!
2. Think about who your friends are
Looking back my "best friends" slimmed down to one high school chick who is my ride or die girl, Tamara. Everyone else disappeared into the ether. Call it college, work or life. People move on fast and without you. Down the road the company kept should be the ones who know all the laughter and fears without bailing.
3. Wait for the one and not the one right now
Diving into the dating pool can sink even the most prepared especially when it comes to relationships and the more intimate details of sex. Whatever happens in the end, whether or not he stays or you leave, both parties should deal with the relationship as an adult. Be safe and use protection. Don't dump people over text. Don't spread rumors. Leave the relationship with an open heart for the next lucky one who deserves real love.
4. Be a kid as much as possible
Milk this mantra because youth isn't forever. Hit the arcade. Eat junk food while watching cartoons on Saturdays. Wear a costume to on a weekday. Once the adult world comes along, a lot of those beloved activities won't be as accessible.
5. Lead the way
There's no need to follow a leader or jump off a cliff just because the high school majority does. Make your own path and stick to it even when other people think it's a bad idea. If it works for you then don't question it.
6. Meditate
Some people do yoga. Others do a little chant. Or perhaps reading a book is a bit more fitting. Chill at the beach, which is my favorite thing to. There's something about the calming waves and setting sun that keeps me centered. Bring comfort and rest. Find peace when life gets overwhelming so moving forward feels easier.
7. Be kind to be well
Not only does this apply to you, but kindness is a gift of love and courtesy to others. Turn the other cheek when possible. People sometimes don't know how their unkindness can spread into a poison. But the cure is not to help the malady exist, but to give another medicine that's unexpected. It's good for them and you as well.
8. Learn to speak up
Easier said than done. It can be the other way if you realize that little voice inside matters and needs to be heard. There's a lot of times where I look back and wish I had just told a friend how I really felt or what I meant to say in a class. Don't look back on regrets. Instead, speak up even if it seems silly.
9. Don't spread yourself too thin
Between AP Classes, extracurricular activities and keeping a part-time job, it can be easy to overstress and break down. Keep a what's important on the plate and leave the rest on the side and handle as needed.
10. Carry a light heart
During this time people from all walks of life will share a lot of words and opinions. At times, it will be offensive and the tendency to feel insulted will only be natural. Don't take it to heart because everyone is entitled to their feelings. Keep being you!
11. Learn a new skill
During the weekend, my favorite thing I learned was weaving through a makeshift loom of cardboard. It didn't take a long time to pick up on, but it was a soothing hobby that I could stop and start anytime. Learn to paint. Bake cookies. Write poetry.
From one former teenager brimming with angst and to know-it-all to another, I hope whoever reads this feels a little nostalgia but also know that we came out all right. After all, we did graduate from high school!
