It's 4:30 in the afternoon and everyone is running around you is hoping just to get to the end of the day. You walk into the dorms and make a B-line for the elevators, you press the up button and pray to whatever God you believe in that you can get into the elevator without interruptions. Right as the door is closing someone sticks their hand in and you wonder which of these 11 people will walk through those doors... you:
1. MIPOE (Most Important Person On Elevator)
Though people may not know this, the first person on the elevator is by far the most important person on the elevator because they witness everything and everyone who gets on after them.
2. The Rando
This is the person who doesn't have anything to do in the elevator except make you feel awkward. This person will test the limits of social psychology by staring at you, which makes you wonder if there is something on your face or if you are simply just that incredible to look at.
3. Phones Are Friends
People with phones tend to get on the elevator and exit the same way they came, looking at their phones. These people tend to be fairly harmless, they just might be clueless to the fact that they forgot to press their floor. (It happens to the best of us)
4. Dolled-Up
Then all of a sudden a girl walks in... Your brain is thrown into confusion because you can't wrap your mind around the fact that someone is willing to wear a dress, heels, makeup and have their hair done all at the same time. After the confusion ends you are thrown into a pit of despair because this girl has her life together and you aren't even sure if you put deodorant on this morning.
5. Average Joe
Joe, like you shrinks into the back corner and waits patiently for his turn. Joe might be holding a to-go bag or a
coffee but other than sipping on whatever he has he'll just quietly jam to his music. He's probably also the one who regrets getting on the elevator in the first place when he sees that every floor between the basement and the top floor have been pushed.
6. ROTC
You're pretty sure he's tougher, stronger and more disciplined than you are. And as you yawn for the millionth time today you realize that he probably has done more in the hours before you got up from your late night cramming than you have done in your entire day...
7. Gym Dude
At first you see his protein bottle and you wonder if he's a poser or the real deal. Your questions are abruptly answered when you get a whiff of his straight out of the gym stench. Another bonus of riding with these sweaty specimens is their excessively
loud music choice, it's like a free concert for the whole elevator.
8. Girls On The Run
Aside from gym dude you have the two girls who are coming back from their daily run. These girls are usually pretty chatty and like to inform other elevator goers what they ate that day or how much they ran. These are also the gracious souls that'll take the stairs up or down one flight instead of pressing the floor in-between.
9. Group
Usually composed of
sorority girls, frat guys or a bunch of randoms, groups can be the most difficult to deal with. As the first one on you are probably stuck at the back of the elevator the groups tend to form a barricade between you and your floor, maneuvering around these groups can prove to be very difficult. Sometimes resulting in the loss of social gracefulness.
10. In Order To Get On This Ride You Must...
This person is the one that everyone not-so secretly stares at when they push a floor lower than five. It's the unsung rule of college dorms, you don't ride the elevator if your floor is below five. You might be forgiven if you happen to be caring laundry or grocery bags, however if not I politely ask that you let those who were disgraced with living above the fifth floor ride in peace.
11. Athletes/Visitors
A college student can always smell fresh blood on an elevator and if you happen to be an athlete visiting a friend or a parent surprising their child, we see you. The confused on look on your face when you get off on your floor gives it away, don't be afraid to ask us for help, we're more than
happy to help, until the elevator doors close of course.
12. The Straggler
Now I know I said there were 11 people on the elevator but here is the deal with the Straggler. This is the person who sticks their hand in the elevator door in hopes of catching a ride. At this point there are two types: the squeezer and the runner. The squeezer shrugs their shoulders and finds the smallest crevasse to hang out in. The runner on the other hand, sees the mistake he made by sticking their hand in a closing elevator and runs towards the stairs as fast as they can.
