Ah, formal season. The most wonderful time of the year. The entire chapter breaks out into complete chaos the moment the formal date sign-up sheet is posted. Everyone is sent into a panic at the thought of asking someone to formal and finding a dress that will top the one you wore last year. The claws are out as everyone prepares for the most emotional week of the semester.
So for your enjoyment, I have taken the liberty of highlighting the emotional stages of formal season. Sit back and get ready to stress out.
1. Excitement
There is nothing more exciting than spending time searching for dresses on Tobi during class lectures and fantasizing about the shoes you're going to wear.
2. Realization
It's all fun and games until you realize you can't go to formal alone.
3. Panic
And so, we panic. The entire Greek community becomes a reenactment of "The Hunger Games" and everyone is left to their own devices. People will stop at nothing to claim their men. May the odds be ever in your favor.
4. Denial
You know what? Forget it. You don't need a date! You are a strong, independent woman who don't need no man to take you to your own date function. You'll look hot either way.
5. Submission
Actually ... it would be nice to have someone to wear that matching tie you bought to go with your dress in the beginning of the semester.
6. More panic
Now you actually need to find a date. Choices need to be made and decisions need to be finalized. Do you take the G.D.I who is dying to go to everything? Do you reach out to the kid who you're obsessed with, but have only talked to twice at a party? Or do you try to take that awkward guy friend that wants to be more than friends but you would rather not cross that line?
7. Eat everything
With all of these choices, the only thing you can do is stress eat. Crack open that bottle of wine and dig into those Girl Scout cookies you bought from your ex-boyfriend's little sister. Grab your girlfriends, take down some names, and let the formal date draft begin.
8. Regret
That wine was necessary but did you dirty. It is now one week until formal and your bloated, hungover, and dateless. You've finally woken up from that food coma you've been sitting in for the past few days and the world around you is caving in.
9. Nausea
So ... you've made a decision. You caved in and asked that kid you've been stalking on Instagram since the beginning of the semester. A friend of a friend gave you his number and it would be totally okay for you to shoot him a text because he complimented your outfit at the last themed mixer you had with his fraternity two months ago.
10. Anticipation
You sent the fateful text. He hit you with a follow-back on Twitter so you're feeling pretty confident right now. You've been unable to focus in all of your classes because all you can do is daydream about how he's going to look in that tie that's been sitting in the back of your closet for months.
11. Officially excited
He texted you back. And he said yes. That's right: you have yourself a formal date. Now proudly write his name on your chapter's formal date Google spreadsheet. You've survived the most stressful week of the semester now go out on that dance floor and kill it with your newfound date.
